Something Long Forgotten
by Komo Pineconeseed
Summary: Glimpses of the rather dysfunctional life of Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara. A chain of short stories set in Makkoska's "It's the Small Things" Universe. [Madara-stays-in-Konoha!AU] [Hashirama/Madara] [Tobirama/Mito] [WIP]
1. traveling

Something Long Forgotten

By: Komo Pineconeseed

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi, Shueisha, Weekly Shonen Jump, Madman Entertainment, Viz Media, and TV Tokyo? (I'm only positive of the first.) Alternate universe belongs to Makkoska. I also stole a few lines from her. She knows which ones. ;P Story title belongs to whomever named the ripped Silent Hill 3 Unreleased Tracks. Chapter titles belong to Utada Hikaru.

Summary: Glimpses of the rather dysfunctional life of Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara. A chain of short stories set in Makkoska's "It's the Small Things" Universe. [Madara-stays-in-Konoha!AU] [Hashirama/Madara] [Tobirama/Mito] [WIP]

Warnings: **This set is part of Makkoska's Small Things' extended universe, so you'll have to read her story "It's the Small Things" and its related stories for any of this to make sense**. As I am writing by the seat of my pants, I have no idea when it will be complete, although I am planning six stories right now. Stories probably will be in chronological order. Sporadic chapter lengths, genres, and updating schedule.

Rating: M for Possible Language, Violence, Romance/Sexuality, and Alcohol.

Genre: Slice-of-Life/Family/Romance/Tragedy/Horror/Humor. A little of everything, really

Dedicated to: Makkoska, who is a sweetheart and has been kind enough to let me play in her sandbox

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><p>traveling<p>

* * *

><p>Hashirama sat in his office with a frown on his face as he listened.<p>

Earlier that morning, scouts on a routine mission had found the corpses of a decimated Konoha team. There was evidence of a fierce battle with advance jutsu, but none of the surrounding damage corresponded with Team Delta's chakra natures. That initially suggested the team was ambushed by foreign ninja, but other evidence proved otherwise. There were bite marks over all of the bodies, but in addition to that, and most disturbingly enough, some of the bodies had been half eaten.

"Perhaps scavenging animals found the corpses after the battle?" Tobirama theorized.

The scouting team's medic disagreed. "That was initially our hypothesis as well, but when I examined the wounds and blood pooling patterns, the bites were definitely made while the shinobi were all still alive. I'm sure the bites were the cause of death for all of Team Delta."

But if so, where did the environmental damage come from?

It was a gruesome and mysterious picture. So mysterious that Tobirama and a handful of other ninja had left to investigate. Hashirama had been worried for his brother's safety, but the only alternative was to send Madara, who had just returned from another mission.

His lover stayed long enough to listen to the scouts give their report, watch Tobirama leave, and kiss Hashirama goodbye before returning home to rest. Hashirama, on the other hand, had a much more depressing task—he had to inform the families. It was always a heartbreaking experience to tell someone their loved one had died in the line of duty, but the worst was when he realized one of the members of Team Delta was a single mother. Going into her house and seeing the lost look of her young girl was too much.

It was then that he made a decision. A few months ago, his partner had agreed to start looking for orphans to adopt. Since the poor girl didn't have any extended family in the village, she would be an excellent choice for them to take in.

* * *

><p>Seven-year-old Iwa Aina was rubbing her eyes with her sleeve to stop her tears from falling down into the small box she was carrying. Packed in a rather hurried fashion, it contained all of the family possessions she had chosen to bring to her new home. It was just that morning that a group of ninja had told her that her mom had been killed during her mission, and she wasn't returning home.<p>

It had been absolutely frightening. Aina had cried her heart out until her tears ran dry and her throat raw, but it didn't change anything. Her mom was gone. Her dad had also died on a mission a few years ago as had her uncle. As for the rest of her family, they somehow got separated even before the ninja clans decided to ally and form villages, and now she had no idea where they were. She didn't remember any of their faces anyway.

What was she going to do? She didn't know if the village had an orphanage since most of the children had relatives that were willing to take them in, but she was all alone. Was she expected to take of herself? Was she going to have to find a job and apartment of some sort? Or would someone simply give her an apartment and an allowance?

That was all she could think about following her mom's death up until a few hours ago when the grief was simply overwhelming. But then all of a sudden, Senju Hashirama-sama had arrived at her house and invited her to stay with him. She wasn't sure how long he meant when he said, "You can come live with us", but Aina agreed because she trusted him the most in the whole village.

He helped her pack as well. In a larger box, Aina selected half of her clothes. Hokage-sama carried that box. In a box small enough for a seven year old like her to carry, she chose to take her father's ashes, her mother's scented folding fan, a photo album, and a stuff animal. She clutched the box as if her life depended on it as she followed Hokage-sama to his home.

Surprisingly, Hokage-sama's house was only a little bit bigger than her family's. The young girl was expecting something much grander considering he was the leader of the village, and to be honest, she was a little disappointed. Still, the front yard was beautifully kept. Aina admired a koi pond as Hokage-sama led them through the winding stone pathway.

He slid open the front door and gestured her to follow him.

"Madara," he called into the seemingly empty house, "I'm back, and I brought Aina with me."

Following that announcement, all the hairs on the nape of the girl's neck stood on edge.

Like a wraith, Uchiha Madara-san drifted into the foyer. As usual, his hair hid half of his face, but his left eye was heavily lidded and dispassionate.

"I can see that." The black-haired man's gaze trailed down, and he scanned the child in front of him. Aina gulped. While her mother had heaps of praises for the leader of the village, she was completely silent on said leader's partner.

To her surprise, Hokage-sama met Madara-san's scrutiny with a wide smile, and his eyes lit up with a strange expectation. The Uchiha snorted before walking away, but instead of following him as she expected, Hokage-sama turned towards her.

"That was my lover, Uchiha Madara."

The seven-year-old nodded. She knew of him.

"Why don't I show you to your new room?"

She nodded again. Hokage-sama took this as his cue to lead her upstairs. The staircase was a bit creaky as the two of them made their way up and into a narrow hallway. Like the rest of the house, the hall was covered in all hardwood floors, and at the end of the hall was an octagonal window covered in paper. In front of the window sat a small table with a flower arrangement placed on top. A gentle breeze was blowing through the paper, giving the whole hallway a faint scent of irises.

Hokage-sama walked down the hallway, pointing to a sliding door on the left. "This is the bedroom Madara and I share." He then pointed to a door on the right before pulling the door open. "And here's your new room."

To Aina's surprise, the floor was not covered in tatami. There was also an actual bed, a table, a dresser, and from the looks of things, a closet. All the furniture was a nice neutral tan color, giving it a pleasant contrast to the off-white walls. There was a window with pale green curtains. She gazed outside. The sun was setting, and lights from the residential district flickered as they were being turned on. Against the splash of oranges and purples in the sky, the cliff side carved with Hokage-sama's face glowed.

"I'm sorry that the decoration is a little bland. I wanted to spruce up the place before anybody moved in, but Madara wouldn't let me."

Aina nodded. Hokage-sama gave a sad smile as he set his box down.

"Dinner will start in half an hour. Why don't you unpack and get settled in?"

The young girl stared at the box she was still clutching. She wouldn't need that long to unpack four items and some clothes.

* * *

><p>A half hour later, Aina found herself seated at a table with a smiling Hokage-sama and a disgruntled Madara-san. A cook had arrived earlier to deliver their evening meal. Normally the smell of a Gyudon beef bowl would make the young girl drool, but today, her appetite was all but gone.<p>

She picked at her food silently, knowing that she was disrespecting her hosts but couldn't be bothered. Hokage-sama either didn't seem to notice or care. He asked her many questions ranging from her hobbies and birthday to the status of her extended family. Aina replied in a quiet voice and only gave enough information to answer his questions. Hokage-sama didn't seem to mind and kept smiling.

The child glanced over to the other man sitting at the table. Madara-san kept his eyes on his food. His portion was considerably smaller than hers or Hokage-sama's, and he took small bites and chewed slowly. The only sound he made was when he swallowed. The girl paid closer attention to him. Whenever she saw him in the village, she found him incredibly cold, and her first meeting didn't change her impression. But the feeling she was getting now—how should she put it?—he seemed more awkward than cold. Not the clumsy sort of awkwardness you would expect from someone her age, but a distant type from a person who had no idea how to act and was too prideful to admit it.

Maybe Madara-san wasn't as bad as some of the rumors she heard about him?

It was then Aina realized that Hokage-sama had stopped asking questions and was just watching her watch his lover. When Aina caught his eyes, he smile grew wider. She had no idea what that meant either. She hoped she didn't offend either one of them. She sat up straighter. Time passed.

"I understand you're not very hungry," Hokage-sama broke the silence, "but you'll feel even worse if you don't eat anything. At least finish the beef and egg."

She picked up two pieces of beef and shoved them into her mouth. It was absolutely flavorless, and the longer the girl chewed, the more the meat tasted like ash. She swallowed anyway. Her stomachache mildly subsided, so she ate more food and chewed rather mechanically, and eventually, finished per her instructions.

Hokage-sama and Madara-san had long since put down their chopsticks, but neither of them had gotten up. While Aina was not surprised to note that Hokage-sama was still watching her, realizing she had Madara-san's attention startled her. The expression on his face was unreadable, but she liked to think she saw some flicker of emotion in his eyes. He broke eye contact and got up from the table.

"Would you like to take a bath before bed?"

She nodded and followed Hokage-sama as he led her to the bathroom. It was a rather small one on the first floor, and she waited as he heated up the bathwater.

"I'll get some clothes for you. Towels are over there." He pointed to a stack of rolled towels on a small wooden stand before leaving the bathroom. Aina undressed and showered, scrubbing herself quickly, before she crawled into the bath. It was the largest furo she had ever seen, but she still sat in a corner with her arms wrapped around her knees. The familiar position—the only way she could squish into the bathtub at home—soothed her slightly. It was then that it finally dawned on her.

Her mom had died.

It was different from her grief earlier in the day. That pain was born from her loneliness and anxiety. This was just sorrow.

The girl sat in the bathtub with tears constantly running down her face until the water grew cold.

* * *

><p>"She's very quiet. I was expecting a high pitched chatterbox."<p>

Hashirama glanced over at Madara. He had changed out of his day clothes and was lounging on the bed wearing only cotton pants. The Senju's gaze turned appreciative as his eyes trailed over the well-toned shoulders, pecs, and abdomen. It was too bad Madara was focused on reading a scroll and not paying any attention to him. He sat down next to his partner and reached over to caress his hair. Madara's facial expression didn't change, but Hashirama could tell from the crinkle around his eyes that he was content. He leaned down to kiss him. Madara returned it, but the kiss was slow and leisurely.

Hashirama was thrilled at this display of intimacy. He knew Madara wasn't very happy with his choice regarding their new daughter. The Uchiha had not only wanted to adopt a talented ninja, but a son at that, but everything changed when Hashirama had received news that Team Delta had been completely annihilated. Hence why Hashirama was so pleased with the way he was kissing him. Just when he decided to take this to the next level, however, Madara broke the kiss. Hashirama looked at him with a rather confused look.

"Hasn't that child been in the bath for a questionably long time? Shouldn't you, as her father, check up on her to make sure she hasn't drowned?"

The taller man's frown told Madara that he didn't appreciate the joke. "She's your daughter now too, Madara."

The Uchiha snorted before returning his attention on his scroll while his lover took the hint and left to grab some clothes and check up on the girl. He paid little attention to the contents of his scroll—regarding the concepts of Gedou and Tirthika, specifically—as most of his attention was on the noises coming from down the hall. The sounds of water rushing through the plumbing, the crinkling noise of shifting fabric, the scraping of feet on the floor, and the opening and closing of screen doors all told him his lover was tucking in the child for the night. A few heartbeats later, Hashirama returned to their bedroom. Madara pretended that his attention was on his reading the whole entire time. He was mostly sure he fooled his partner.

Not that any of that mattered since Hashirama's entire attention shifted into initiating sex. He mounted Madara almost immediately and started sucking at the crook of his neck. His hands slid down to caress his sides, and this put the Uchiha in a dilemma. It was true he had just returned from a month long mission earlier that morning and had no chance to relieve his desires the entire time. He desperately wanted to be penetrated among other things, but he was also simmering with anger with how little input he had in choosing his first child, and an ugly desire to punish Hashirama was bursting forth. With his remaining strength, he pushed the taller man off of him. His Senju had such a surprised look that Madara was almost amused. To disguise that, he flipped over to lay on his other side and tried to read his scroll. He could feel Hashirama's desperation radiating from his body, and he could feel his erection pressed against his lower back as he tried to regain his lover's attention.

When Hashirama pressed his nose into his hair to sniff him, Madara decided that they were going to have sex that night, but he was going to make Hashirama work really hard for it. He forced his eyes to focus on the theory on how to summon the Gedou Mazou in an attempt to hold out for as long as possible.

* * *

><p>Even though Hokage-sama instructed her to go to sleep more than an hour ago, Aina laid in her bed wide awake with her stuffed animal clutched to her chest. She didn't feel grief—just emptiness. A void seemed to have sucked away all of her emotions, leaving her simultaneously restless and lethargic. She sat up in her bed for what felt like the twentieth time with all the intention to pace or use the bathroom or something, but every single time she moved her covers to the side, she could see Madara-san glaring at her in her mind's eye. She laid back down every time.<p>

She just couldn't go to sleep. The sheets smelled wrong, the air was too warm, the bed was too soft, and there was something wrong with the atmosphere of the house. Or maybe it was just her mood. She was so emotionally tired, but she couldn't sleep.

It was then that she first heard it. At first, she thought there was something wrong with her ears, but then it happened again. A low, strange groan seemed to be emanating from the hallway. It sounded human-like, but she had never heard anybody groan like that. In fact, it almost sounded like someone was in pain with how low pitched it was, but that wasn't quite right either.

The groaning stopped, and that was when it dawned on the girl how still the house was. Aina crawled out of bed as silently as she could, trying not to disturb either Hokage-sama or Madara-san who were probably both asleep by now. She especially didn't want to wake up Madara-san. He wouldn't take too kindly to that, Aina thought as she sneaked her way over to the door.

If she tried opening it, it would surely make a sound. Instead, she pressed her ear against it. All she heard was the low rustling of some sort of noise. Aina shifted so that her ear was pressed against the crack between the door and doorframe. The girl could feel a chill on her cheek from the hallway's coldness. There was also the unmistakable sound of wooden boards creaking and wind blowing.

The sound of the wind was low, rustling, and constant, and it was a sharp juxtaposition against the intermittent creaking noises of the floorboards. The girl peaked through the crack her ear had been resting on. The hallway was pure darkness except for a small section illuminated by dim moonlight. Something was casting a long shadow in that faint light. Aina stared at the irregularly shaped shadow, trying to figure out what it was when, all of a sudden, the moaning started again, and the shadow moved! Aina gasped as she stumbled backwards and fell on her butt. She quickly shot under her covers as fast as she could and clutched her stuff animal to her chest, shaking.

Oh dear goodness. The house was _haunted_.

The girl didn't sleep at all that night. Instead, she shifted so that she laid in bed, still as a board, staring at the ceiling.

* * *

><p>Madara was in the dining room, removing small containers from the bucket the cook brought over. There was a small bamboo container of rice porridge that Madara portioned out into two bowls. Then he realized that there was another person living in the house. Before pulling out a third bowl and reportioning, however, Madara decided to give the second bowl to the girl. Hashirama was a grown man who could fend for himself, after all.<p>

Also in the bucket was miso soup with thinly sliced mushrooms. Madara did not particularly like miso soup with anything except green onions, seaweed and tofu, but Hashirama really enjoyed the mushrooms, so their cook made them soup like that every morning. The salty scent wafted into the air after he opened the container. It had become lukewarm during the trip, however, so Madara turned on the stove to reheat it. While he was waiting, he portioned out the omelet, the grilled fish, and the pickled plums. The kettle he put on the stove earlier started whistling, so he made himself a cup of tea.

By the time he was done setting the table, Hashirama and the girl had both arrived. The air around them was strikingly different. His lover gave off the same vibe he always did the morning after Madara returned from a mission: lazy and completely sated. The girl, on the other hand, appeared even worse than she did the night before. She seemed jittery, stressed, depressed, and about to hyperventilate at the drop of a hat. The Uchiha was impressed. This large and concurrent emotional range was something he normally only saw within members of his own clan.

Madara sat down and started drinking the porridge. Behind him, he could hear the miso soup has fully heated up, and he gave Hashirama a slight nod towards the range. His lover understood him and got up to pour soup for everyone.

Breakfast was silent before, predictably, Hashirama broke it.

"Aina, there will be a funeral in few days for your mother's team."

The girl nodded. Madara narrowed his eyes at her. That was all she seemed capable of doing. The Uchiha didn't know much about females given how little he interacted with him, but even he was certain this was not normal behavior.

"I'm sure you want to be there," Hashirama continued, "and afterwards, there's something I want to talk to you about."

She nodded again. Madara took a sip of his tea. If she were a boy, he would have simply chalked it up to depression, but didn't girls simper and cry when tragedy struck? What was wrong with this child?

The rest of breakfast continued with Hashirama talking, but this time his attention was directed at Madara. It was all trivial bureaucracy, something with all honesty Madara was surprised his lover was even focusing on. He tended to shove these matters to _Tobirama_. Still, Hashirama wanted his honest opinion on some small re-structuring of teams to better distribute abilities of certain types. Madara honestly didn't care as long as Hashirama didn't group any idiots with him. He'd hate it if anyone were to die under his watch.

Soon, the time arrived for Hashirama to go his office to start his paperwork. Before he left, he leaned forward to give his lover a goodbye kiss which was returned. Out of the corner of his eye, Madara noted the girl's reaction. Or rather, her lack of one, as expected. She kept staring at her untouched food.

After he broke the kiss, Hashirama walked over to her and gave her hair a ruffle. The corners of her lips twitched, almost as if she wanted to smile but had forgotten how. Still, she redirected her attention to Hashirama who smiled at her before leaving.

It was just Madara and the girl in the house, and damn if Madara had any idea what to do. His original intention was to go over to the clan compound and sort out disputes—there was always petty disputes—before going to the training grounds, but it seemed wrong to leave a child with such a blunted affect in the house by herself. There was only one solution.

"Come." The girl seemed surprised that he was speaking to her. "We're going to the Uchiha compound."

She nodded and got up from her chair. They left the house together.

It was a bizarre experience for Madara. He usually walked either by himself or next to Hashriama. If it was the former, people tended to unconsciously make way for him, and if it was the latter, people would drift towards Hashirama to start a conversation. Either way, people ignored him. With the girl in tow, people were still cautious around him, but he had a lot more stares given how closely she trailed behind him.

The Uchiha kept his head up as he strode through the streets. People always had an unsavory habit of gossiping about others, and it was only a matter of time before this girl's adoption reached the ears of the public. Hopefully, this would quell any opinions about whether or not Hashirama should father a child.

Madara looked behind him. Aina was straggling. He waved her closer, "Walk by my side. I can't stand it when people are behind me." She jogged forward so she was only a hand width behind him.

That was good enough, Madara supposed.

* * *

><p>Given the number of people that had died, the funeral was rather short, but not scandalously so. Several members of his own clan had dug the graves, and lowered the caskets into the damp, cold soil. Hashirama did not shed any tears, but his eyebrows were pinched in a way that belied his deep sadness. His lover was standing next to him with a far more neutral expression and in between them was their new daughter crying silently. Everybody was dressed in a matte black, and Aina had laid white roses on her mother's grave. As Hokage, Hashirama went to each individual family to give his condolences. After each family member had a moment to say goodbye to their loved one, Hashirama carved the names of Team Delta onto the memorial stone.<p>

The funeral was over, and their little family returned home.

Before dinner, Hashirama brought up a matter he had wanted to speak about for a long time.

"Aina, you've been staying here with Madara and myself for a week now. How do you like it?"

The young girl blinked at him. "I really like it here, Hokage-sama! But, um," she bit her lip, looking particularly nervous before she whispered, "are you going to kick me out?"

"Oh no," Hashirama was surprised, "nothing like that. I was hoping, or rather, Madara and I were hoping you might be willing to stay here permanently." Noticing Aina's confusion, he added, "We want to adopt you. Once we do, the three of us will be a family, and we'll be your fathers."

Hashirama's heart melted when he saw the girl beaming.

"Yes!"

* * *

><p>They celebrated that night by going to eat Korean barbeque. Madara felt uneasy about having a celebration so closely following a funeral, but Hashirama and their new daughter seemed fired up about it, and he didn't want to ruin their fun.<p>

The restaurant was jam-packed with people, but the owners were still able to find a spot for the three in a corner. It was a little dark as neither of the two light fixtures were fully able to shine in their little crevice, but nobody in their party seemed to mind. A young civilian waitress soon arrived to take their order. Hashirama ordered three sets of pork belly meat, Aina really wanted to try some of their special house sausage, and Madara just ordered a bottle of sake for himself and his lover as well as a bottle of cola for the girl.

After the waitress left, Hashirama and Aina started talking about Tobirama's newly opened ninja academy. Specifically, Aina was arguing that she wanted to enroll, but Hashirama seemed convinced she was too young.

"We need to enroll her," Madara interjected when he realized the argument was spinning around in circles. "Given our schedules, there's no way we could teach her all the ninja arts ourselves."

Hashirama frowned at that. "Yes, but she's only seven. She's so young. There's plenty of time in the future for her to learn."

"We're not shoving a katana into her hands and ordering her to assassinate the Mizukage," although Madara's lips twitched at the mental image, "but she's going to be a ninja. We're ninja. She needs to learn how to defend herself at least."

"We'll be there to protect her."

Madara narrowed his eyes. Both he and his lover knew damn well he couldn't counter that sensitively so soon after Aina's mother's death, so he changed tactics. "But she will enter the battlefield one day. She needs to start now so she doesn't fall behind."

Aina nodded at Madara's pronouncement. "Daddy, I really, really, really want to go." The two of them looked at Hashirama expectedly. He sighed and gave into his family's wishes. Aina cheered while Madara smirked.

The waitress returned, wheeling a cart. Using tongs, she placed a shallow bowl of hot coals in the charcoal brazier. On top of the grill, she placed a small iron pot of what turned out to be egg drop soup—"It's on the house, Hokage-sama"—before placing plates of raw pork slices and sausages. The three of them also got lettuce, sesame leaves, rice, garlic, kimchi, spicy bean paste, and thin jalapeno peppers. Finally a bottle of sake, two shot glasses, and a bottle of cola were placed on the table.

Hashirama handed a pair of tongs to Aina and taught her the art of flipping meat without burning it. Madara felt incredibly relaxed and smiled at them. He proceeded to pour his lover and then himself sake shots. Hashirama downed his in one gulp, but Madara sipped at his slowly.

After the meat was grilled to a beautiful golden brown, Hashirama cut them into strips before serving them to his family. Madara just dip his slice in salt before eating it, but Hashirama showed Aina how to wrap hers up in a sesame leaf with rice, garlic, and kimchi. The girl made a face when she bit into the leaf, but Hashirama told her that the bitterness of the leaf was supposed to contrast nicely against the savory meat and sour kimchi. She didn't appear to buy it.

Dinner continued in such a pleasant manner. Unlike her fathers who seemed to be getting calmer with every shot of sake they drank, Aina became more chipper from her soda pop. She drank all the soup by herself, gorged herself on half of the sausage, and ate her set of the pork belly all the while talking about how great it would be learn how to throw shuriken. This childish excitement culminated in her challenging Hashirama to a jalapeno eating contest.

"Whoever finishes their pepper first wins!" Aina exclaimed with a maniacal grin.

Hashirama smirked. "You're on. I bet I can finish mine twice as fast as you!"

"No, you can't!"

They both dipped their peppers in bean paste and took a bite. That was about as long as they lasted before they spat out their mouthfuls due to the sheer heat and reached for their drinks. Aina's soda made the girl squirm when she drank it, but all she let out was a high pitched whine. Hashirama, unfortunately, took a shot of sake which just sent him into a coughing fit. Upon seeing their expressions, Madara broke out into a laughter so loud that patrons seated at nearby tables turned to look their way. A Sharingan-enhanced glare sent them back to their own business.

The Uchiha sighed as his lover's coughing subsided. He causally leaned over to the side dish tray, grabbed his own jalapeno, dipped it in paste, and started to leisurely eat it as if it were just a carrot.

Aina gaped at him. "Madara-san, doesn't your tongue feel like it's going to burn off?"

Her other father smirked. "This heat is nothing compared to a Great Fire Annihilation jutsu."

Her admiration radiated from her wide-eyed expression.

* * *

><p>After they finished their food, Hashirama and Madara set a moderate pace on the walk back home. Aina frequently ran ahead and then waited for them to catch up.<p>

Hashirama was over the moon with how happy his family was. He was really worried about his daughter the past week. Her lack of appetite and grief were to be expected, of course, but that didn't ease his concern, so he was really relieved to see her bounce back so quickly. He was also thrilled to see how quickly Madara accepted Aina into their lives, and how happy and open his lover had been that evening. Madara's smiles made Hashirama's heart flutter. All of this just reinforced his belief that they would make wonderful parents. Still, just to make sure…

"Aina, you are okay, right?"

She looked rather surprised at his question. "Yes," her response was quick, "I mean, I am still sad Mom died, but I'm really happy with living with you and Madara-san!"

Hashirama felt like he was smiling so hard his cheeks were about to fall off. "I'm glad to hear that. If there's anything you need us for, just ask."

"Okay! Really, all I want is to enroll at the Academy and maybe make some friends. Not that I'm not really happy with you and Madara-san or that I'm lonely or anything," she backpedalled quickly, "but I just want some friends my age to talk to."

"That's understandable. All right then, darling, I'll draw up the papers tomorrow."

They arrived at the house, and paused in the entranceway to take off their sandals.

"Thanks, Daddy! Really, I am happy here. I love you and Madara-san! I love this house. I even love the ghost that wanders the hallway at night!"

Hashirama and Madara just stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Ghost? What are you talking about, dear?"

Aina blinked. "Oh, you know, the ghost in the hallway outside our bedrooms. Okay, I never really saw it directly, only heard it." She frowned when she saw their incomprehension. "Surely you must have heard it! It's so loud, and it groans and moans every single night after we go to bed! Like this." With that, she sucked in her chest like she was going to belch before making a moan as low as a seven-year-old girl physically could. There was something about the way she pitched it that was eerily familiar…

Madara connected the dots faster than Hashirama and turned even paler than normal. Hashirama tilted his head in confusion before sucking in a breath when he realized what his daughter was referring to.

"A-ah!" Hashirama started stuttering in disbelief. He was _not at all_ ready for this conversation. "Yes! That noise. Erhm." He coughed for a moment before continuing. "So, that noise you were hearing… ah, it was just us and we were just…" He looked wildly in Madara's direction for guidance, but his lover was still slack-jawed. "You know that Daddy and Madara-san love each other very much, and we show it by, uh… so…"

At that point, Madara's brain had enough time to restart, and he interrupted with a low hiss, "Hashirama, shut up right now, and just tell her you hit your toe."

"But I can't tell her I hit my toe every night!"

"Daddy, that was you?" Aina's face was contorted into such a confused expression that both of her fathers would have found amusing under any other circumstance.

"Yes. Yes, it was."

"I don't get it. Why would you…? Hmm, is this a grown-up thing?"

Hashirama could hear Madara let out a quiet sigh at the lifeline they were given. "Yes," he said with more conviction than was necessary.

"All right." And with that proclamation, the topic was over. "I want to take a bath!"

He smiled. "I'll draw one for you then."

The three of them prepared for bed. Like usual, Hashirama tucked Aina in while Madara waited for him in their bedroom.

When Hashirama came back, he started kissing Madara, who returned it enthusiastically. Before he started caressing him, though, Madara pushed Hashirama away.

"I've decided to gag you tonight. You better not make a sound, you understand?"

Hashirama smiled. He would do anything his lover wanted, anyway.


	2. Tokyo NIGHTS

Something Long Forgotten

By: Komo Pineconeseed

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi. Alternate universe belongs to Makkoska. Chapter title names belong to Utada Hikaru. Hello Kitty belongs to Sanrio. The Kyuubi no kitsune mask (i.e. the mask the Kyuubi from Okami wears) belongs to Kamiya Hideki and Clover Studios.

Warnings: **Part of Makkoska's Small Things' extended universe**, so read that first. Stories are mostly in chronological order. Sporadic chapter lengths, genres, and updating schedule.

Dedicated to: Makkoska

* * *

><p>Tokyo NIGHTS<p>

* * *

><p>"You're going on vacation?" Tobirama asked his brother, while fanning himself. Summer had officially started two weeks ago, and as expected in the Land of Fire, the temperature had shot up. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but the air conditioner had broken earlier that morning, and the technician had a bad bought of food poisoning, so everyone in the Hokage tower had to rough it. They were all seasoned ninja, so nobody complained. Much.<p>

Hashirama nodded. "I've been stuck in this village for so long, I'm beginning to think the rest of the world doesn't even exist."

His little brother arched an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Plus, it dawned on me that since we've adopted Noboru, the family hasn't even been to a festival!"

"We just had our annual festival less than a month ago!"

Hashirama shook his head. "No, I mean a real festival. The kind that blocks off at least five streets and lasts several days."

"The Gion Festival at the Tanzaku Quarters?"

"I said several days, not a month. Plus, it's not romantic enough."

"Then, you're talking about the Tanabata Festival at the capital."

"Yes! And while I'm gone, you'll be acting Hokage."

"What about Madara?" Tobirama asked suspiciously. He was sure that without Hashirama around, the crazed Uchiha would attempt a coup d'etat immediately. Not that he'd likely succeed, but the political aftermath would be a disaster. His naive idiot brother just rolled his eyes at him.

"He's coming with us, of course."

"Are you sure he'll even get back in time?" Madara was on a deadly mission that had been projected to last two weeks. As he left several weeks ago, he was already overdue to return. The latest news was his team had neutralized a threat near Takigakure, but had met with resistance on the way back.

"I have full confidence he'll be back in time for us to get to the capital later tonight."

Tobirama was sure that his brother was not as confident as he sounded, but it really didn't matter to him when the Uchiha would arrive. He would like Hashirama to take a break, however. If nothing else, Tobirama could finally catch up on the paperwork he was certain Hashirama had been neglecting. Then, after his brother returned from his vacation, Tobirama could go on that trip to Uzushiokagure to solidify their alliance. He suspected he was about to get engaged.

Madara's team arrived an hour later. Tobirama could see his older brother do some quick math in his head. If the family left in three hours and travelled quickly, they could conceivably arrive at the capital by early evening.

* * *

><p>After Madara finished debriefing and his team was dismissed, he was surprised to see Hashirama walk out of the office with him. This was something that happened a handful of times shortly after he decided to stay in the village, but in the past few years, Hashirama continued working instead of following him home like a worried puppy and then fucking him like a bitch in heat.<p>

"Why are you going home so early today?" Madara asked in a carefully neutral tone.

"Oh, I had a great idea!"

Madara knew from that familiar look on Hashirama's face that he wasn't going to like what was going to come out of his mouth next. Before he had a chance to cut him off, however, he continued.

"Let's go to a festival!"

There was only one festival that he could mean, of course. "If you want to go to the Tanabata Festival, go by yourself. I have a clan to lead and children to discipline."

"Well, actually, I was planning on taking the kids with us. And I'm sure the Uchiha Clan can survive a few more days without you."

And sure enough, Madara had followed his partner down the winding staircases to the Academy. The two of them headed towards the Academy director's office, and with just a quick word, several chuunin were sent out to retrieve their three children. The director offered both Hashirama and Madara green tea while they waited, but they turned him down due to the lack of time.

Aina, Takumi, and Noboru were quickly ushered into the room. They all sported rather worried looks that quickly faded when they saw Madara in the room. Their Uchiha father was not happy with the implication, but all other thoughts were swept aside when Hashirama thanked the Academy director for his assistance and told everyone to go back home and pack quickly. The family left the building.

Once inside their house and out of earshot of random passer-byes, Hashirama announced his plan to go a festival. Aina and Takumi cheered while Noboru gave a nervous smile. He hadn't left the village since the day his birth family was slaughtered. Still, all three rushed upstairs to their room to grab snacks, money, and clothes for the trip. Hashirama and Madara followed them more slowly and entered their bedroom.

The second after Hashirama slid the door behind him, his lips were on Madara's, kissing him deeply. Madara returned the kiss but stopped his lover after a minute.

"I thought you wanted to pack?" He asked, his tone a mocking tilt.

The light of understanding returned to Hashirama's eyes, and the two of them started choosing clothing to take with them. Madara picked a dark blue yukata with abstract shapes and sealed it into a scroll. He also took off his armor and sealed that along with extra weapons and money. He glanced at Hashirama, who had changed out of his awful Hokage robes and into dark, fitted pants and a white loose top tied together by a red sash around his waist. Chain mail obscured the sun-kissed skin on his chest. Madara's eyes swept down. Hashirama always looked stunning when he wore clothes that actually fitted him.

By the time the family was done changing and packing, it was already early afternoon. They raced out of the village. Madara set a hard pace, and while Hashirama kept up easily, the kids started lagging behind after fifteen minutes of continuous running. "Remind me to have them work on their stamina," Madara muttered at Hashirama after slowing down to half their original speed.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, the family stopped for a quick water break. Madara-san had ran off somewhere to do something. Noboru could tell that Dad had wanted to follow him, but Madara-san had hissed at him. The youngest member of the family only caught the tail end of the warning which was, "…can't when anyone is standing behind me…!" Then, he ran off. Before testing some sneaking skills his chuunin instructor taught him that week at the academy, his big sister quickly drew everyone's attention away from the brewing drama.<p>

"Dad, which festival are we even going to?"

"Oh, right! Madara and I are taking you to the capital."

Aina gasped, and her eyes went wide. "We're going to the Tanabata Festival!?" Her tone became higher pitched and shriller with each syllable.

"Yep."

"Oh my god! This is going to be so much fun and romantic!"

"Whut." His big brother apparently couldn't see where romance came into play any better than Noboru.

Aina tut-tuted at him. "Are you serious? You don't know the legend behind the festival. They don't just randomly decide to hold it on the seventh of July!" She glanced over at her younger brother. "Noboru, you don't know either, do you? Dad, please tell me that _you_ at least know!"

Dad smiled, his lips still on his bamboo water container. "Of course I know, darling, but why don't you do the honors of teaching your little brothers?"

"So," Aina started with dopy smile on her face, "once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess named Orihime who lived in the sky. She was the beloved daughter of the Sky King, and she wove the most beautiful cloth with the most pretty embroidery. Her father loved her work, as he should because she worked really hard on it. But Orihime was really sad because she hadn't met her one true love. Her father felt really sorry for her, so he arranged for her to meet a young, handsome cow herder named Hikoboshi.

"It was love at first sight! The two of them immediately married, and they were _so_ happy together. But then, Orihime's father became really angry with them for no reason, so he separated the two across the Heavenly River and forbade them from meeting ever again. Orihime begged her father to let her meet her true love again. She cried and cried and cried, and her father felt bad about making his daughter so sad, so he agreed to let the two of them meet on the seventh day of the seventh month. But the first time they tried to reunite, they realized they couldn't because there was no bridge. A flock of magpies had been watching them stare at each other, so they flew to Orihime, and offered to make a bridge so she could reunite with her beloved husband.

"They say that if it rains on Tanabata, the magpies won't come and make the bridge, so Orihime and Hikoboshi would have to wait another year before they could be together again. To have to stare at your beloved across a river for a whole year… isn't that the most romantic story you've ever heard?"

Dad opened his mouth to say something, but Madara-san's voice interrupted him. "The Sky King had a reason to separate Orihime and Hikoboshi," he said as he walked back to their group, "They stopped working! Orihime stopped weaving, and Hikoboshi neglected his duties and let the cattle run amok in heaven. That's why the Sky King had to separate them."

Aina looked so heartbroken at this pronouncement that Noboru went to hug her. While clutching onto him, Aina rebutted, "But they were in love!"

"Being in love doesn't excuse one from his duties, Aina."

Before his sister could respond, Dad interrupted, "Madara, sometimes a man should choose love over duty." It was a weird response to Madara-san's argument, and he paired it with a look Noboru didn't understand. Madara-san sighed.

"Are you all done resting? Let's go."

Aina looked like she wanted to say something, but Hashirama had gotten up and resealed his water container. The kids followed his lead, and they started towards the capital again.

* * *

><p>The sun was low in the sky when they reached their destination, although still a little earlier than Hashirama expected. It was difficult getting into the city due to the large crowds of people. Madara held Noboru's hand while Aina and Takumi trailed after Hashirama cautiously as they navigated through the throng. Near the outskirts, the only sign anything was even going on was how crowded the streets were.<p>

As the family walked further into the capital however, Hashirama watched his children's amazed expressions at all the decorations. There were bamboo poles hanging from the buildings. They were decorated with giant ornaments and other colorful creations. An ornament with a beautiful plum flower painted on the surface was being taken down by its owner to light the candle inside. After being lit up, it glowed warmly. Soon, several others were also lit, giving the area a romantic feeling.

On one of the side roads with fewer decorations was a hotel Hashirama had stayed at previously. The price was reasonable, and the quality of the suites was good. There was a conversation about how many rooms they should rent. Hashirama and Madara would share a room, of course, but Aina wanted her own room and Takumi wanted his own bed. In the end, they got only one room for the kids. Takumi glanced at his little brother who would be sleeping in his bed that night, but he didn't say anything. After the family checked into their rooms, Hashirama could hear Aina making a break for the bathroom in the kids' room before slamming the door behind her and turning the shower on.

He was completely distracted from eavesdropping on his children, however, when Madara summoned the yukata he sealed away earlier and started stripping. After undoing his belt, he pulled his long robe over his head. It tugged his hair up as it went, revealing a deliciously muscled back covered in a few, faint scars. He then bent over to undo the bandages around his ankles, showing off the curve of his ass in the process. Hashirama licked his lips, wondering if Madara was trying to seduce him on purpose. When he kicked off his sandals and pulled down his pants and underwear, Hashirama couldn't contain himself any longer and walked over to touch him, but before his hand made contact with Madara's skin, his lover had pulled his yukata over his shoulders, covering up the naughty bits. Half turning around, he glared at Hashirama while closing his yukata and tying the obi around his waist shut. He put his sandals back on before asking, "Are you going to change, or are you going to festival dressed like that?"

Hashirama answered him with a kiss. As his lover returned it, Hashirama's hands wandered down the front of Madara's yukata. The knowledge of him not wearing anything underneath sent heat straight to his groin. When Madara started making little moans, Hashirama's right hand drifted to his lover's obi and started tugging. He could even feel Madara becoming hard against his pelvis.

The sound of a door slamming broke the mood. There was the pitter patter of running feet before Takumi burst into the room, completely unfazed by his fathers' tight embrace. Madara was not as nonchalant and pulled away as if Hashirama was on fire. Their son didn't seem to care as he pointed a finger at the wall.

"DAD! MADARA-SAAAN! AINA THREW SHURIKEN AT ME!"

"He opened the door while I was trying to take a shower! And it's not like they connected!" Aina's muffled shouting responded.

"I just wanted to take a dump, and YOU WERE HOGGING THE BATHROOM!"

"I'm trying to wash off all the sweat! Girls need to smell nice, you know!"

"Takumi," Hashirama interrupted, "Why don't you use our bathroom?"

The ten-year-old blinked. "Oh yeah." He ran to his parents' bathroom and opened the door. Before he went inside, however, he turned his attention back to his fathers. "Dad, are you going to change, or are you going to the festival dressed like that?"

Hashirama smiled upon hearing his lover's words come out of his son's mouth. "Just use the restroom."

Takumi went in and closed the door.

Beside him, Madara started smoothing out the wrinkles on his yukata and retied his obi. He was still half hard, so he sat down on the bed, and crossed his legs in a way that hid it. Hashirama leaned down and tried to kiss him, but his lover's glare stopped him. Sighing, he took out his scroll, crouched to place it on the floor, and unsealed his yukata.

"What is _that_?" Madara's tone was incredulous.

Hashirama was confused. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong is your yukata. What in the world is that design?"

"It's a spruce tree!"

"It does not look like a tree. It looks like our Leaf symbol painted by a drunk who confused half his ink with milk and green tea. Are you planning on going out into public wearing that?"

Hashirama nodded.

"Well, hopefully no-one at the festival will recognize you. It would be unbecoming for word to get out that the Hokage is either blind or an idiot," Madara narrowed his eyes, "Possibly both."

The toilet in their suite flushed, and Takumi entered the room. "I want to see Dad's ugly yukata!"

"Did you even wash your hands?" Madara asked.

Takumi's lips flattened into a line as he shook his head.

Madara just pointed at the bathroom, and their elder son stomped back in. Hashirama sighed as he changed into his yukata. After he tightened his obi, his lover glared at the supposedly eyesore pattern while Takumi just laughed at it.

* * *

><p>After everyone was dressed, the sun was starting to set, so the family of five left their rooms to see the sights of the festival. Because it hadn't rained in a while, the children's sandals were soon covered in a thin layer of dust as they ran down the dirt path leading towards the main road. The heat from earlier that day had dulled a little, but a heavy warmth still hung in the air. Hashirama took a deep breath. Street food on a summer evening smelled amazing.<p>

Takumi and Aina had found a nearby yakitori stand. Chicken and vegetables skewered on bamboo sticks were being grilled over an open flame. The owner was fanning the fire with a paper fan, and the motion blew the scent of the grilled meat towards Hashirama and Madara. Hashirama's stomach rumbled, reminding him he hadn't eaten since breakfast. He went over and bought six skewers. After giving a stick to each of his kids who started wolfing them down, he handed a stick towards his lover. Madara, with his arms crossed, glared at him and dismissed his offering, but Hashirama kept pushing it towards him. Madara took it to get him to stop the embarrassing action. He took a small bite of chicken. Hashirama followed his lead.

The chicken was absolutely delicious. Perhaps it was just his hunger speaking, but the meat was juicy and tender enough to fall off the stick easily. It was also a tad smoky from the fire, which balanced well with the saltiness of the soy sauce that had been brushed on.

Hashirama finished one skewer easily, but he ate his second stick a lot more slowly when he noticed Madara has only eaten half the food. After Madara swallowed his last bite, Hashirama tried to tempt him with more food, but his lover ignored his offer.

The kids had long finished by then, but hadn't moved. Hashirama didn't want to limit their chance to explore.

"You don't need to wait for us," he told them, "Go and have fun. I'm sure there are games and sweets you're all interested in. Just don't wander away too far."

They ran off, leaving Hashirama and Madara by themselves.

The two ninja walked side by side in silence. It was times like these that Hashirama wished Madara wasn't so against public displays of affection as he desperately wanted to hold his hand. He turned to look at him. Madara wasn't looking at him, but rather, he was staring at an uchiwa selling stand straight ahead. As the heat was the stagnant, humid kind, Hashirama bought five. He gave a black one to Madara.

The next stand was selling masks.

"Which ones should we buy?"

"Are you going to be wearing one?" Madara's tone was suspicious.

Hashirama smiled. "I was planning on just buying some for the kids, but do you think I should?" He grabbed an oni mask from stall and held it in front of his face. "Don't I look scary?"

"Combined with that outfit, yes, absolutely terrifying, but not the way you're hoping."

"How about this one, then?" He grabbed a white cartoon kitty mask. It had a pink bow over its left ear.

"Even scarier."

Hashirama smiled, aware of his lover's sarcasm but ultimately uncaring. He turned it over to admire the detail. "Hmm… do you think Aina would like it?"

"I wouldn't know. Probably."

"We'll take it then. What about for our boys?"

Madara had a nasty smirk on his face as he picked two identical masks. They were both white with pointed ears and sharp snouts. There were intense blue markings down the midlines which swirled around the foreheads. Hashirama wouldn't be surprised to see the legendary Kyuubi no Kitsune wear such a frightening design.

"Not an oni mask?"

"While appropriate for playing tag, they're too tacky."

"Okay, we can get these instead." Unsurprisingly, Madara had a better idea than him, and Hashirama deferred to his opinion.

After paying for the masks, they caught up with their kids who were playing a goldfish scooping game. Looking at Takumi's expression, he already tried and failed. Still, he and Aina were cheering on Noboru who held his paper scooper with an uncharacteristically serious expression. Everyone held their breaths when he caught a goldfish, but it moved around too much, broke the paper, and fell back into the water.

Aina took one look at Noboru's face, and told the lady she was going to try too. With an odd sort of delicateness, she managed to scoop a fish and gently swayed it in a way to minimize the fish's motions. Everyone clapped, and the stall owner put her fish in a small, clear, plastic bag with plenty of water, and tied the top with a piece of twine. Aina gave it to her youngest brother who smiled as he accepted it. They thanked the owner and walked away.

"Do you have any idea what you'll name it?"

Noboru glanced at his older brother and pursed his lips. "I don't know. What do you think would be a good name?"

"Sashimi."

Takumi's siblings let out scandalized gasps. Noboru clutched his fish closer to his chest.

"Takumi, don't eat your little brother's fish."

"I was just joking, Madara-san."

There was a moment of silence before Hashirama broke it by handing the kids masks and fans. While Aina accepted her butterfly-patterned red fan easily enough, she frowned when she was given the kitty mask. She looked down at it, looked at Takumi who had already put his Kyuubi mask on, and then looked at her mask again.

"Noboru, do you want to trade?"

Her youngest sibling hadn't put his mask on as quickly since he had a fish and a fan to juggle around. He acquiesced. Madara looked like he wanted to say something when he saw his Uchiha son wearing the kitty mask, but he changed his mind. Better equipped for the festival, the three ran off to find more games to play.

The sun had completely set by this point, and everything was illuminated by the soft glow of lanterns and the kaleidoscope of color as the light shone through the various decorations. Despite being caught in the middle of a crowd, Hashirama felt like the festival just turned private after the kids left. He glanced at Madara, who seemed to be focused on nothing in particular. There was a small frown between his brows.

Determined to entice his lover to smile, he found a nearby takoyaki stand. The fried batter smelled amazing, and he purchased a half dozen in a small wooden tray. Hashirama skewered one of the balls and held it up to Madara's lips.

"I can feed myself!"

"I know," but he didn't move to hand the toothpick to Madara.

Madara glared but ate what his lover fed him. It was still hot, so he opened his mouth to blow out the steam.

"Be careful," Hashirama whispered into Madara's ear. His pitch was lower than one might expect given his words, and his lover raised a brow at him, but his eyes were half-lidded. The world around them faded away.

But only for a moment. Hashirama wasn't a sensor type, per se, but that was when he felt ninja at the festival. Given the way they avoided greeting Hashirama and Madara, they weren't Konoha shinobi or any of their allies. The way they cloaked their chakra was peculiar too, and not reminiscent of any of the ninja from the Great Villages. Deep inside, Hashirama became unhappy. He rarely had the chance to leave the village for pleasure, and he didn't want these people ruining this experience.

Glancing at his partner, he could see they didn't escape Madara's notice either. His Mangekyou Sharingan was spinning. The half hidden chakra signatures slunk back into the darkness, but Madara took a step in their direction.

Acting quickly, he skewered another octopus ball and held to Madara's lips.

"What are you doing?" Madara spat.

"You need to eat. You've only had one stick of yakitori and one piece of takoyaki since you came back from that mission."

"I'm full. Besides, there's something else that needs my attention."

Hashirama focused. The children were safe, and that was all he cared about. "If you choose going after them over staying with me," he whispered, his lips grazing over the shell of Madara's ear, "I'm going to get jealous." He wiggled the piece of takoyaki. Madara sent another fierce glare in the direction of the foreign ninja before eating it.

The two of them spent an hour wandering around the festival seeing the decorations. He could see Madara's attention occasionally diverting elsewhere, presumably to where the ninja were. To distract him, Hashirama bought a bottle of sake. As there were no shot glasses, the two of them drank straight from the bottle. A while later, they caught up with their children who were working their way through the games. In addition to the fish Aina won for Noboru, someone had won a balloon that Takumi was playing with like a yo-yo, and there were other odds and ends they lugging around. The kids were far away enough to give them a sense of privacy, but close enough for their parents to keep an eye on them.

They just followed their children at that distance for two hours before Hashirama and Madara caught up with them. The kids, by that point, were so sugared up from mochi, cotton candy, and soda that they weren't going to go to sleep that night. Hashirama didn't mind. His lover would probably just gag him before having sex. They steered the young ones towards the hotel.

"What? We're going back already?" Takumi complained. Aina and Noboru pouted.

"We've been out for a long time, and its way past your bed time anyway," Madara responded.

"Wait a moment," Hashirama said, "There's still something we need to do before we turn in for the night." He led them to the room he and Madara were sharing. Pulling out his scroll, Hashirama unsealed a small stack of paper. Each paper had five colors. He handed a piece to everyone including himself before unsealing brushes and ink.

"Ooh! We're writing wishes?"

"Of course, darling. It wouldn't be Tanabata if we didn't, right?"

Everyone was quiet when they wrote on their paper strips. Hashirama's wish was simple. He wrote for the health, safety, peace, and happiness of his family and village. After he was done, he unsealed a bamboo stick and tied his wish to it. Aina was second to finish, and Hashirama smiled when he read her wish for her fathers' romance to continue going strong. Takumi wished for a jounin sensei with a sense of humor, Noboru wished for his family's health and safety, and Madara wished for Tobirama to be less meddlesome.

They tied their wishes to the bamboo stick as well, and Hashirama hung the stick out the window.

"It's time to go to bed! Everyone wash up." The kids ran back to their room, and Hashirama followed them to make sure the boys actually took their shower. After everyone was clean and in their sleepwear, trying to get them to sleep was another fight. It didn't help that Takumi and Noboru were sleeping in the same bed and kept trying to kick the other. After talking to them for ten minutes with no success, Hashirama gave up and just let the kids play hanafuda cards.

Madara was not happy when he heard laughter from the kids' room when Hashirama returned to their suite. He decided to punish Hashirama by first gagging him and then dominating him rather roughly. After sharing lazy kisses, Madara broke the silence right when Hashirama was about to fall asleep.

"The ninja we sensed earlier were from Takigakure."

"Do you think that was related to the mission you just finished?"

"Perhaps. We didn't fight any Takigakure shinobi, but we were very close to their village, so they might have been sent to collect information on what we were doing. That, or they came here to assassinate you." Madara's eyes carried a possessive gleam, thrilling Hashirama down to his toes.

"They won't succeed even if they try."

Madara traced around the scar on Hashirama's chest with just the tip of his finger. He just looked at Hashirama who laughed stupidly before grabbing his hand and bringing it to his lips for a kiss.

"I'll be on my guard. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried," Madara responded. Still, he laid on his back, awake and alert, while Hashirama fell asleep curled up against him.

* * *

><p>The next morning started with a battle. Specifically, the children ended up playing cards until three in the morning, so when Madara went to wake everybody shortly after daybreak, they would not get up. Hashirama kissed him, and convinced him to return to bed.<p>

After the children and Hashirama got up for real after getting more sleep, it was nearing noon. The hotel had stopped serving breakfast, but since the festival was still going on, the family went to an okonomiyaki stall and ordered thin pancakes with yakisoba noodles, bacon, and fried eggs. The sauce covering the noodles was thick but delicious, and the bacon and egg were necessary to provide the energy everybody needed to travel back to Konoha.

They returned back to the hotel to pack. While the kids were sad they couldn't stay longer, they didn't complain much. Noboru and Takumi asked Hashirama to seal away their fish and water balloon respectively. Right before the family checked out of the hotel, Hashirama took the bamboo stick with their wishes.

"Are we going to burn it or float it down a river?" Aina asked.

"I was planning on placing it in a river. I feel it's more appropriate given Orihime and Hikoboshi's story, don't you think?"

The children nodded.

"I know you're unhappy we're leaving in the middle of the festival, but Madara and I both think we should return to the village as soon as possible. We'll send our wishes down the river in three days."

"You mean at the end of the festival even though we won't be here."

"Yes."

They hit the road, jumping through the branches at full speed.

Halfway home, they stopped for another water break. Madara left to piss. Hashirama wanted to follow him. The fact that his urine stream stopped every time Hashirama appeared behind him was always going to be funny. But just like last time, Madara stopped him from following.

Hashirama sat with his kids, waiting for Madara to return. The familiar setting reminded him of something.

"Aina, you know how you said Orihime and Hikoboshi's story was really romantic on our way here?"

Aina nodded, a curious gleam entering her eyes. Takumi and Noboru were also listening.

"Well, there's a story I want to share. It's also really romantic, if I may say so myself, and the couple also met at a river bank, but it has a happy ending.

"It's how your father and I first met…"


	3. The Workout

Something Long Forgotten

By: Komo Pineconeseed

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi. Alternate universe belongs to Makkoska. Chapter title names belong to Utada Hikaru.

Warnings: **Part of Makkoska's Small Things' extended universe**. Stories are probably in chronological order. Sporadic chapter lengths, genres, and updating schedule.

Dedicated to: Makkoska

A/N: Also, thanks, mysterious Guest reviewer! You're so cute, you know that?

A/N 2: I've changed the ending! It's now lighter and softer.

* * *

><p>The Workout<p>

* * *

><p>Madara groaned as Hashirama collapsed on top of him before capturing his lips in a sloppy kiss. The two were still sticky from their recent activities, but neither seemed to want to break their embrace. An uncharacteristic smile formed on Madara's lips as Hashirama shifted, but didn't move off of him. Usually, he found this position incredibly stifling, but today, he just loved the feel of his weight.<p>

Eventually, Hashirama slid off of him and curled up against him, his left arm slung heavy over Madara's abdomen. The Uchiha watched as his lover's breathing slowed down. He stretched, feeling sore. It was getting really late, and he could feel his own eyelids drooping as darkness enveloped him…

…

…

…

"This is a good spot, don't you think?" Hashirama gestured the space in front of them.

"Yeah." The training ground his lover selected this time wasn't bad at all. It was an open clearing in the middle of the forest. A small stream was flowing in the middle of the meadow. The noonday sun was shining high in the sky, and it cast streams of light in between the leaves. The wind picked up, and the shadows of the young trees danced. "It's far enough away that our attacks won't reach the village as long as we don't go above mid-tier techniques."

Hashirama smiled. "So, don't active your Mangekyou Sharingan."

"As long as you don't create any wooden creatures."

"I'll be sure to restrain myself," he replied as he removed his giant scroll from his back and set it on the ground. Pulling it open, he unsealed his first weapon. He swung his great sword in the air once before grasping it with both hands, widening the distance between his feet, and taking a stance traditionally used by katana wielders.

Madara smirked. His lover's cockiness will be his downfall during this sparring session. "Let's dance, Hashirama!" His gunbai and scythe materialized out of thin air in front of him. He reached forward for them, and the second his hands grabbed a hold of his weapons, he charged forward.

Hashirama anticipated this move and took a step towards him, his great sword raised upward. Even without his Sharingan, Madara could read his movements and caught his blade in between the groove of his gunbai. He shifted his weight to the right and tugged enough to unbalance Hashirama's sword. The Senju's left hand left his weapon, and his arm guard blocked the swipe from Madara's scythe.

Madara aimed a kick at his gut, but Hashirama twisted out of the way. Taking advantage of Madara's unstable stance, Hashirama let go of his sword completely and tried to punch him. It connected, but Madara's armor absorbed most of the blow, and his fan blocked his second punch.

The two combatants leapt away from each other to gain distance. Madara's hands flew together, and he wove the sign for tiger before blowing ash and dust into the air. He could feel Hashirama molding his own chakra. Earth and water chakra melted together, and the plant life underneath his feet responded. Acting quickly, Madara kicked at the wood that tried to trap him with enough force to splinter it completely in half. Weaving more hand signs, he performed another fire release before the dust settled. His fireballs flew through the air, and Madara quickly sprang after them, determined to catch his partner unaware. In an amazing display of his speed, he reached his opponent's location before his jutsu even, and he swung his scythe in the direction of Hashirama's chakra signature. He could feel the heat coming from behind him as his fire balls closed…

…

…

…

His body and mind calm after his release, Hashirama curled up closer to Madara, who somehow was letting him spoon him from behind. The Senju wasn't awake enough to appreciate this, but was awake enough to wrap both arms around his lover as he unconsciously buried his nose into the Uchiha's thick mane to breath in his scent. His motions pulled the cover around the two lovers even tighter…

…

…

…

Somehow, without his knowledge, the vines from Hashirama's jutsu managed to wrap around his waist, completely immobilizing him. Madara could feel the warmth of his fireballs fly past him and Hashirama, _all missing their target_. The black haired man grit his teeth. All his jutsu succeeded in was supercharge the air behind him.

Hashirama walked towards him, and Madara knew he was about to twist Madara's arms in an attempt to get him to yield. Angry at getting caught, he formed a tiger seal before setting all the wood underneath and around him on fire. A slash from his scythe freed him, and a quick roll in the dirt put out all the flames on him. His own jutsu burned off most of his clothing, and his armor clinked together as he righted himself and shook off the dust.

His opponent had unsealed a roll of shuriken, and they flew through the air like hummingbirds. A wind technique from his gunbai blew most of them back at Hashirama, but his lover had disappeared and reappeared at his 4 o'clock, and Madara had to twist his arm to catch this new great sword with his scythe. Hashirama pulled his sword back with a two handed-grip and started swinging at him faster and faster. It was all Madara could to do to just parry those attacks. His Sharingan swirled into life, and soon Madara was finding unguarded spots. Despite his monstrous strength, even Hashirama had difficulty closing all the openings when wielding such a heavy weapon. Throwing his scythe into the ground and unsheathing his tanto, Madara stabbed the closest spot.

Perhaps Hashirama knew him too well since he anticipated this move, and he leaped backward to gain distance. Also unburdening his hands of weapon, he leaped up into a tree and wove a snake seal before more roots started popping from the surface…

…

…

…

Hashirama was content. Being buried deep in his covers on a cold winter night with his lover in his arms after an intense session of lovemaking was pure bliss. He didn't even mind being kept from sleeping by his partner's constant tossing and turning. Half-awake now, he placed a soft kiss on Madara's exposed shoulder. Craving more contact, his right leg stretched out and snaked its way in between Madara's thighs. The feeling of skin against skin started lulling Hashirama back to sleep…

…

…

…

Hashirama smiled as his wood released succeeded in binding Madara's legs. The Uchiha attempted to cut the vines with his scythe, but more wood sprang from the ground, wrapping them around his arms and stopping him. This, unfortunately, was a trick Hashirama would commonly use in the bedroom, and Madara's body started responding in the way it was trained when he felt the tightening of Mokuton around his bare limbs. His tanto fell onto the ground silently. Madara snarled before sucking in a breath to perform another fire release. Before he could mold his chakra, however, Hashirama was in front of him, pressing their lips together.

It was a surprisingly sweet kiss given how fiercely the two had been sparring, and Madara surprised himself with how quickly he stopped resisting. His Senju's hands started wandering all over his body, touching and caressing his chest, thighs, and hair. Hashirama broke the kiss first for a gasp of air before pressing his lips against shoulder.

"You've been so tense, lately," he whispered into the skin of his restrained lover. "I have a good idea on how to let out steam."

"I thought that's what we've been doing up until now!"

"Well, this is going to be even more relaxing." His right hand slid down in between Madara's parted legs. Madara moaned, and watched with half lidded eyes as Hashirama formed the snake hand sign with just his left hand. With a mastery of hand signs he didn't even know Hashirama possessed, vines sprang up from the ground around him. They grew longer and thicker as they wove together and formed a dome. Despite blocking out all the sunlight, Madara could still see Hashirama's wide smile as he reached up to undo Madara's armor…

…

"This is a good spot to for us to work on our teamwork," Tobirama told his team in the middle of the same training ground that Hashirama chose. The Sarutobi boy smiled enthusiastically while his male and female teammates—whatever their names were—had serious expressions on their faces.

Madara didn't know how he knew this given the fact he was underneath Hashirama and a wooden dome a hundred meters away, but he knew it nonetheless. He snorted, finding Tobirama's attempts at being a teacher side-splittingly hilarious.

The younger Senju brother held up two bells. "Your objective for this mission is to steal these from me. You have until noon to complete this task. Come at me with killing intent to have any hope in succeeding."

The three genin leapt into the forest and started forming their plan. Tobirama smirked before disappearing himself.

The children leaped from branch to branch and headed deeper into the forest. The female and the kid with glasses pulled some wire and kunai from their pockets and created a trap while the Sarutobi boy ran back as the bait. Tobirama charged at him with a katana. Sarutobi was more nimble, however, and dodged out of the way. He threw a spread of shuriken at his sensei who knocked them out of way easily. He turned tail and ran, but to his disappointment, Tobirama didn't follow him.

"Looks like the trap we set was little too obvious?" The girl asked.

"What we need to do is attack together and then draw him here."

"Sarutobi," the brat with glasses asked, "aren't we in the Nara forest?"

But that can't be right, Madara thought, they were in the thirteen training ground. The Nara forest was given to that clan as a part of a deal Hashirama had signed with them when they joined the village, and the clan was fiercely protective of their private patch of trees.

"That's right. Are you suggesting we use the giant hole in the middle to trap sensei?"

"Won't he be expecting that?"

"It's better than our crossbow trip-wire trap."

"Hey, I have an idea," the kunoichi exclaimed, "why don't we move our crossbow close to the giant hole? That way, if Sensei evades it, he'll be trapped by the hole!"

"Yeah, but why would Sensei even come near our crossbow to begin with? He won't even follow Sarutobi."

"We'll need to steal something from him. Something that he, on principle, will follow us for."

"The bells?"

"No way, Sensei will be guarding those closely since that's the objective of this mission. No, there's something else I have in mind. Something even better: the furry thing he always wears around his shoulders!"

Sarutobi's teammates looked at him as if he was a genius. Quite frankly, Madara thought, it was a miracle that Tobirama wasn't even there spying on this conversation. He probably was. As much as he hated his lover's younger brother, Madara was aware Tobirama wasn't stupid. There was no way he would fall for something so juvenile.

…

There was a part of Madara that was aware that being intimate with Hashirama under a flimsy dome while his lover's brother and a little genin team were training so close was a bad idea. That part of Madara was strangely silent, however, as he let Hashirama do whatever he pleased. Perhaps his Senju was right. It wasn't as if Tobirama and his team would ever find them since they were at the edge of the training ground.

Hashirama kissed him deeply, and he stopped paying attention to anything else.

…

Sarutobi launched another head on attack against Tobirama. He let out a fire release quickly followed by an earth release. As Tobirama dodged, two shuriken flew from a blind spot. Unaware of his genins' plan, he evaded it, but managed to trigger a trap that unleashed a storm of shuriken from multiple directions. Tobirama managed to deflect the shuriken from hitting his vital points, but a few cut off the connections of his armor, including the leather strips attaching his fur scarf to the rest of his clothing.

His best genin student let out a water release, and distracted, the kunoichi managed to steal the fur piece. Successful, the two genin retreated back into the forest.

Tobirama stared after them dumbfounded before pursuing them to try and figure out what they were planning.

The two genin ran deeper into the Nara forest. He had to be careful as they left spikes on the ground. Their instructor was unsure why they set such an obvious trap as he ran around them, when all of a sudden, he set off a trip wire. A giant log attached to a rope suddenly swung in his direction. Tobirama jumped to the right to avoid it, but then he tripped another wire and triggered several crossbows.

He was at the center of the Nara forest, right next to the giant 20 meter deep hole they were so proud off. With his current angle flying through the air, there was only one way to dodge the arrows, but that would result in him landing on the covering of that hole. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his bespectacled student standing near the trigger, ready to spring it.

Caught utterly unprepared, it was all Tobirama could do but unleash a water bullet technique to deflect the arrows. His desperation caused him to mold twice as much chakra as he intended, and while he avoided the projectiles, his jutsu forced him backwards and slammed him into a tree. Taking advantage of his temporary paralysis, his genin jumped him like a pack of wolves and grabbed the bells.

Tobirama smirked, accepting defeat.

In the background, the water bullet destroyed a wooden dome.

…

Hashirama and Madara were completely naked and curled up against each other in post-coital bliss when, from out of nowhere, a flood of water rushed at their dome with such force that the wood was completely shattered, buffeting both shinobi.

Madara quickly kicked the wood off of him. Shaking wet hair from his face, the first thing he saw was the shocked faces of Tobirama and his genin.

Completely humiliated by his bareness but also completely helpless to change it, he charged at Tobirama with a roar.

The punch he threw connected, and sent Tobirama flying back into the same tree. Just as the young Senju was getting his bearings together again, Madara's Mangekyou Sharingan swirled to life, and a second Susano'o enhanced punch sent him flying. Madara followed him, his Susano'o forming a sword and slicing at Tobirama, cleaving his armor in two and leaving a five centimeter deep laceration down his chest. Tobirama fell to his knees, clutching at his wounds. He tried a water release, but all he spat out was blood. Madara let out a sadistic, barking laughter. Just when his Susano'o's sword was about to pierce Tobirama's chest and kill the meddlesome ninja once and for all, a wooden golem sprang out of the ground and caught the sword swing. Madara growled as an equally naked Hashirama raced forward to heal his little brother's injuries.

"Stop this, Madara!"

"Don't tell me what to do, Hashirama! It's about time your brother met his end. He's had this coming!"

Hashirama growled at him, his hands still on Tobirama's wounds. "It was an accident!"

"I'll kill him!" One of his Susano'o's arms was caught by Hashirama's golem, so another arm grasped a sword, ready to slice the albino Senju. Hashirama grimaced as his hands stopped healing and formed yet another snake seal. A vine popped up from the ground, entwined itself around Madara's right ankle, and pulled him out of his Susano'o. The jutsu dissipated. Several more branches wrapped themselves around Madara's limps, once again immobilizing him. Another branch formed over his eyes and blocked his vision as well.

Just when Madara thought this scene couldn't be more humiliating, he could feel himself becoming erect as he always did when Hashirama bound him like this. His face felt like it was going to burn off.

He heard the kunoichi squeal, "So this is the kind of kinky stuff Hokage-sama does in the bedroom! Oh my god! What I would give to watch!"

"That's it?" The boy adjusted his glasses. Despite being blinded, Madara knew the child was judging the size of his penis. "Hokage-sama turned down a marriage with Mito-san for _that_?"

"I'm going to slaughter all of you!" Madara screamed.

Not even the God of Shinobi could stop an absolutely furious Uchiha Madara without collateral damage. Madara's chakra molded chaotically as he formed his Perfect Susano'o…

…

…

…

Hashirama was confused. Madara rarely moved in his sleep, but he had been restless all night. When he started sleep talking, something he had never done before, Hashirama knew he was dreaming. Madara had been incredibly busy and tired lately dealing with some clan squabbles, helping him with administrative tasks, and training the children, so Hashirama just let him sleep. When Madara started muttering death threats against his brother, however, Hashirama had to act.

"Madara, wake up!" He shook Madara's shoulders.

To his immense surprise, Madara shot up in the bed and started hyperventilating. His Mangekyou Sharingan was activated and spinning. The pale moonlight seeping into the bedroom through the window curtains illuminated a thin layer of sweat that was starting to form on his brow. The bags underneath his eyes seemed even heavier. Madara moved to sit cross-legged and pulled the blanket to cover his groin.

In the past, Hashirama had slept next to Madara when he had woken up from a nightmare about Tobirama killing Izuna. That always left a heavy, uneasy feeling in Hashirama because Madara would always shoot out of bed, get dressed, and leave the house. Hashirama would always feel a mixture of worry, mostly regarding Madara changing his mind about staying, and guilt, mostly about letting Madara's precious little brother die when he should have tried harder to save him.

But this reaction to a nightmare was one Hashirama had never seen before. Madara seemed to shrink to a corner of the bed instead of leaving. Hashirama scooched closer to his partner and paid more attention. In addition to hyperventilating, the skin on Madara's cheeks and chest appeared flushed, and his pupils were dilated. To Hashirama's shock, Madara bit his lip and tilted his head to the side, showing his neck.

What had his lover been dreaming about that would result in him muttering death threats to Hashirama's brother while asleep and then being aroused upon awakening?

"Madara?"

Madara hadn't looked him in the eye since he woke up. He laid back down, his back towards Hashirama. His breathing was still ragged.

"Madara, what's wrong?" Hashirama breathed and moved to touch his skin. Madara ignored him.

"Go back to sleep."

Hashirama sighed but obeyed. He was about to fall asleep when he heard Madara mutter, "I'm never having sex with you in public ever again. I don't care how many people are supposedly not there."

Hashirama grinned, now incredibly curious about Madara's dream, but no matter how many times he asked, his lover wouldn't share and just told him to shut up and sleep. Pouting, he did as he was told.

* * *

><p>When Hashirama woke up again and turned to face his lover, it was morning. Madara was looking at him.<p>

"What is it?" Madara still sounded a little agitated.

"So, what did you dream about last night?"

Madara let out a sigh. "It was just a nightmare. I really don't want to talk about it."

"It wasn't just a nightmare, Madara. You've never woken up like that before. You were thrashing around in bed, talking about killing Tobirama, and then you woke up aroused." He scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Madara. "Were you dreaming about Tobirama spying on us?"

"No!"

"Were you dreaming about Tobirama talking about us?"

"No!"

"Were you dreaming about... Tobirama doing something to you?"

"What!? No! And stop guessing! It was just a nightmare, so just drop it already."

"But I'm really curious! Before you fell asleep again, you said that you weren't going to have sex with me in public. So, what were you dreaming about?"

Madara turned his head and looked him in the eye. "You're not going to drop the subject, are you?"

"Nope." Hashirama gave a teasing smile.

Madara let out an exasperated groan. "We were sparring in the woods when you somehow seduced me. Before we managed to get dressed again, your damned brother brought his genin team, and they broke this dome you made, and they saw me _naked_! And that snot nosed kid with glasses, whatever his name is—"

"Homura-kun?"

"Yeah, that brat. Anyways, he said..." Madara turned his head so his hair completely hid his eyes. He gritted his teeth with such force that Hashirama was surprised he couldn't hear anything.

"Madara," Hashirama breathed, holding his lover even tighter, "Tell me."

"He said he didn't know why the fuck you chose me over Uzumaki Mito, okay! And he implied my dick was small! There! Are you fucking happy now!?" Madara pulled out of Hashirama's embrace. His Senju didn't stop him at all, since he was completely startled. Hashirama stared at him with wide eyes for a split second. Then, he started laughing so hard, tears were streaming down his face.

"It's not the least bit funny!"

"No, it's absolutely hilarious!"

Madara made the motion to get out of bed, but Hashirama stopped him. He continued, "You don't need to feel threatened, Madara. Especially, not by Mito-san of all people. I've only seen her once in my life! You should know, you were there last night too! You're my gift from the divine, Madara, and the person I love the most. Period."

"Gift from the divine? What are you talking about?"

Hashirama continued as if he hadn't heard him, "And as for your dick size, you have nothing to worry about in that regard either. You're not small by any stretch of the imagination." His smile turned pervy. "I love your dick too."

"You're a pig, Hashirama."

Despite his words, Hashirama could tell his lover was content with his response. He smiled before kissing Madara, who returned it.

It really was a good start to the day.


	4. Kremlin Dusk

Something Long Forgotten

By: Komo Pineconeseed

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi. Alternate universe belongs to Makkoska. Chapter title names belong to Utada Hikaru.

Warnings: Part of Makkoska's Small Things' extended universe. Stories are probably in chronological order. Sporadic chapter lengths, genres, and updating schedule. **Unfortunately, the characters in this story can only be as smart as me. I did my best to make sure they didn't do anything stupid, but I'm not that bright myself.**

Dedicated to: Makkoska

* * *

><p>Kremlin Dusk<p>

* * *

><p>Hashirama was humming a tune while he signed his name on a document. He glanced at the clock and smiled. In fifteen minutes, Tobirama would likely pop in to nag him about paperwork, but after that, he would get to head home! Just yesterday, his daughter announced that she wanted to make dinner for them, so Hashirama had been exceptionally excited for this evening to arrive. He really wanted to try Aina's cooking. He suspected her new interest in preparing a meal might have something to do with making a bento for Yamanaka Riku, a boy whose name Aina couldn't stop mentioning recently. Hashirama didn't mind being a guinea pig, and he was certain the rest of his family was curious about Aina's culinary skills too.<p>

As he started on the last stack of paperwork for the day, a special jounin rushed into the room. Hashirama was instantly put on high alert when he saw the black ribbon tied around the scroll she clutched in her hand. A message from the Daimyo?

The special jounin bowed deeply as she offered the scroll to her Hokage, and Hashirama took it equally gingerly. He broke the seal. The scroll reacted to his chakra, allowing him to read the message.

Hashirama's eyes widened as he took in the contents. He placed the scroll onto the table before dropping back into his chair and letting out a deep sigh. He gestured at the special jounin, who was still bowing, and told her to summon his two strongest shinobi to the office. These two were specifically requested by the Daimyo to complete a private mission. The special jounin bowed again before leaving.

His two strongest shinobi? Together on a mission?

* * *

><p>Tobirama was making his way towards his older brother's office ready to check his work and then go back home. He was smiling. Just a few moments prior, Mito had told him she was three weeks pregnant. They shared a touching moment when she took his hand and placed it over her abdomen before he leaned forward to kiss her. Tobirama hoped the child was a boy. Hashirama had proven himself useless in continuing the family line, and their father was likely rolling in his grave over his lack of descendants. Not that Tobirama didn't like Aina, Takumi, or even Noboru, but nobody could say they were Senju.<p>

All of a sudden, a special jounin appeared in front of him. "Tobirama-san, you've been summoned by Hokage-sama for an advanced mission." She then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

How utterly bizarre. It must have been a mission request Anija recently received. Tobirama had been in his office just earlier that morning, sorting through the requests and ranking them.

While walking towards the Hokage Tower, he noticed Madara also going in the same direction. Tobirama glared at his brother's partner before ignoring him, who kindly returned the gesture. Both ninja were silent as they made their way to Hashirama's office. Tobirama knocked on the closed door, something he learned to do after the retina-burning experience of walking in on his brother. The other person in that situation snorted, as he was used to just barging in like the ill-mannered barbarian he was.

"Come in," Anija called. Tobirama opened the door. Madara squeezed in past him, pissing Tobirama off. He entered the room more slowly. Hashirama was standing, looking out the window with his hands clasped behind him.

"What's this about a mission?" Madara asked. Tobirama's eyes grew wide. Madara was also being sent out on a mission?

Hashirama cleared his throat before he turned around. The Hokage hat cast a shadow over his eyes, making his serious expression even darker.

"Uchiha Madara-san and Senju Tobirama-san. Good, you're both here. Daimyo-sama has just summoned the two of you for a mission. It is to take place at the capital and is projected to last three days. In terms of difficulty, it's a C-ranked mission, but Daimyo-sama is generous and is offering to pay it as an A-ranked mission should you two complete it successfully."

"What?" Madara glared. "You're sending me on a C-rank with your damned brother!?"

"Anija, are you sure you've ranked the mission correctly? An assignment involving Daimyo-sama would be A-ranked at the very least."

Hashirama sighed before holding up the mission scroll. "Uchiha-san, I hope I don't have to explain to my most elite ninja about the importance of completing Daimyo-sama's missions. Tobirama, I've ranked the mission correctly. Both of you should take a look for yourselves." He held out the mission scroll. Tobirama tried to grab it, but Madara was quicker, forcing Tobirama to read the contents over his shoulder.

_Dear Senju Hashirama-dono:_

_I'm writing in hopes this scroll finds itself in your hands without complications. There is an urgent matter with which I need your assistance. For the past three weeks, my precious daughter has been sent letters with disturbing contents. These letters have been given her terrifying nightmares from which she wakes nightly screaming, and just this morning, she was sent a 'gift' of ill intent._

_I have sent all twelve of my guardian ninja to investigate. Unfortunately, they have all returned empty handed. This impudent harasser has started acting with greater frequency. I need more man power._

_That is why I am writing today, asking you to lend me your two strongest ninja to resolve this problem! To my understanding, they are the heads of the Uchiha Clan and your own Senju Clan. I am confident the two of them together will be able to track down this tormenter and stop his actions once and for all! I will compensate you with the same generosity as always._

_With Sincerest Regards,_

_His Grace, The Daimyo of the Land of Fire_

After he finished reading the scroll, Madara rolled it back up and placed it in his sleeve. "Surely, Tobirama doesn't need to be involved. I'm enough to resolve a silly problem such as this one."

"Daimyo-sama requested both of us, or are you incapable of reading?"

His brother interrupted whatever that Uchiha was going to say, "You both are going on this mission. I would prefer for you to leave immediately. After all, the sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back." Tobirama smirked. The Uchiha's unhappiness, this time at being cut off, always brought a smile to his face.

"I understand, _Hokage-sama_. I'll prepare to depart immediately."

"Madara," Hashirama said tenderly breaking the professional air he had cultivated, "be careful."

Madara sent him a mild glare, but he didn't say anything before leaving. Tobirama hated moments like these in particular, where the Uchiha would pretend to be human and string along his brother. After he left the room, Anija turned his attention to him.

"Brother, can you please be less antagonistic?"

"I'll stop once Madara regains his sanity."

Hashirama let out an agonized groan. "You'll be working with him for a few days. I know you value teamwork, so please just play nicely."

Tobirama sighed. "I'll go prepare as well."

After returning home, he found his wife in the living room drinking raspberry tea and laughing with Toka-san. They noticed him entering the room and stood up.

"Welcome home, my dear," Mito said. Toka-san also greeted him.

"Unfortunately, I can't stay long. Anija has sent me on a mission _with Madara_."

Both women sucked in a breath. "With that demon?" Toka-san demanded while Mito's lips thinned into a pale line.

"Mito—"

"I'll be fine by myself for a while. Just because I'm pregnant does not mean I'm made of glass."

Tobirama smiled, "I'll remember that." He wanted to give her a good-bye kiss, but decided against it with Toka-san in the room.

* * *

><p>The sun was setting when Madara walked to the entrance of the village. He was dressed in his mission clothes and red armor. Strapped to his back was his gunbai and scythe, and tied around his forehead was a Konoha forehead protector. His armor clinked with every step he took.<p>

Tobirama was waiting for him at the village gates, leaning against the chuunin guards' stand. He was dressed in his blue armor with that unsightly fur collar wrapped around his shoulders. The two of them glared at each other as they made eye contact.

"You're late."

"That's where you're wrong, Senju. The start time for missions of this caliber is at sunset. But you've just been sitting in the village, your weapons at home, barking orders this whole time, haven't you?"

"Apparently, your pea-sized brain can't seem to remember I also go on missions. And you speak as if you're important. If it weren't for the generosity of my brother, you wouldn't even be able to stay here."

Madara glared at him. "Are you going to continue flapping your gums, or are we leaving?"

They left.

It took them twice as long as it should have to reach the capital. If Madara had been traveling by himself, he could have made it in an hour.

It was all Tobirama's fault. He insisted on taking the main road when there was an obvious shortcut. Tobirama's reasoning was that it passed through a swamp, and they needed to look their best for the Daimyo. Madara knew of a human invention called "bathing" that Tobirama might have interest in, and informed him so. Plus, wasn't he a ninja? Was he incapable of not falling in the mud? Tobirama blew a gasket and went off on a lecture of proper hygiene, blah blah blah.

Madara wondered if he should kill him. Perhaps he could inform Hashirama that foreign shinobi ambushed them and he was the only one who escaped?

No. Madara knew the pain of losing one's last brother, and as much as he hated Tobirama, he would shield his lover from that sorrow.

In the end, Madara ignored Tobirama and left him behind. He traveled at full speed through the swamp. Unsurprisingly, he got to the capital without a drop of mud on him and waited for him outside the gates of the Daimyo's castle. Shortly afterwards, Tobirama caught up.

"You are aware that Konoha regulations stipulate teams travel together, aren't you? You've made this same mistake in the past, and Hashirama and I have been very lenient—"

"What? _You've_ been lenient? Senju Tobirama, I don't know who the fuck you think you are—"

"I'm the Hokage's head advisor. These are the rules of the village, your village, and you will obey them."

"Uchiha Madara-san? Senju Tobirama-san?" A member of the Daimyo's household had arrived at the main gate. He was a short, thin man with a receding hairline. "Thank you for making your way to our glorious capital. Daimyo-sama will see you now. Please follow me. As we're trying to keep your presence here a secret for as long as possible, we'll be going through the servant's entrance."

Both men were silent as they followed the man to the side of the castle. They bent down to pass through a servant's entrance, and they took the back route through the giant yard and down a concrete staircase into the boiler room where a man boiled all the hot water for the castle. Going through another servant's door, the three passed through a giant kitchen where cooks stir-fried in giant woks, and servants ran with their creations out the door. Madara and Tobirama left through that door, and went up many flights of stairs and through many sets of double doors. They finally reached a giant hallway. "On the other side is Daimyo-sama and his daughter. This is the first time the princess has met with ninja outside the Guardian Twelve, so please be mindful." He slid open an exquisitely painted screen door, leading to a large room with a high ceiling. On the far end, seated in the middle of a dais, was the Daimyo. A few meters away from him sat a teenage girl—presumably the princess.

Madara and Tobirama walked together into the room. The man who showed them the way followed after them with thin pillows. Placing them on the ground, Madara and Tobirama kneeled in front of Daimyo-sama before bowing completely. The Daimyo gave a wave, and they sat in seiza.

"Thank you for coming, Senju-san, Uchiha-san. I understand you are busy men with clans to run, but this matter is incredibly distressing." He motioned to the girl. "This is my daughter, the princess. She is the one who has been receiving these letters. I have written in my letter to Hokage-dono that she had received another 'gift'. Bring the box and the letters in."

Another servant, this one rather anxious, brought in a small wooden box. Wrapped around the box was a white cloth stained with dried blood. He walked over to the shinobi, and placed the box in front of them.

Madara reached out for it, but Tobirama swiped the box away from him. He unwound the cloth, set it aside, and slid the lid off. Tobirama sucked in a breath as he saw whatever was inside. He reached into the box and fished out a letter. After giving the rice paper a flick, he read it wordlessly while pushing the box in Madara's direction.

Inside the box was a severed human right ear. Tobirama passed the letter to Madara as well. Written on it was "I love you" over and over again. The princess started crying.

Another servant brought in a stack of letters. They were divided up between Madara and Tobirama, who each opened one. They read.

The letter writer wrote about how he thought the princess was a goddess, too good and pure for mortals. He wrote about how he and he alone understood her. He wrote about how he dreamed about her at night and what he wanted to do to her when they were alone. He wrote that he had a plan to take her from her home so that they could be together forever.

Madara took care not to sneer at the contents. In front of him, the princess continued crying.

"Your task is to find the perpetrator and bring him here, preferably alive. After I had a chance to speak with him, get him to stop this. I don't care if you use a jutsu or kill him."

Tobirama and Madara nodded.

"I will provide a place for you during your stay and your meals for you as well. Given the high alert, you won't be staying in the guest quarters. Instead, you will be sleeping on the same level as my family. Momo," he called out to the man who led him there, "please show them to their sleeping quarter."

"Uchiha-san, Senju-san, if you'll follow me."

Madara and Tobirama followed him out of the throne room, down the hall, and up another flight of stairs. The man slid open another door located close to the stairwell.

"We sincerely apologize about this, but Uchiha-san and Senju-san will have to share a room. This is the only available one on this floor. Normally, we would give you suites in the guest quarter, but this was a request from the princess herself. She wanted you on the same floor as her, and thankfully these rooms are also close to the stairs."

Madara wanted to say something, but Tobirama cut him off. "Thank you for your hospitality, Housekeeper-san. I wasn't aware the princess felt as if she was in danger. Surely, the Guardian Twelve also extend their protection to the Daimyo's family."

"Yes," Momo the housekeeper said as he slid open a cabinet and started pulling out futons, blankets, and pillows, "well, it started when the letters started appearing in her room. Originally, the first letters were sent through the mail. The princess opened the first letter addressed to her, but after that, she had the staff siphon out rest. The stalker must have gotten word of this somehow because letters started appearing in the princess's room. After the Guardian Twelve failed to stop this from happening, well, that's when the Daimyo and princess started panicking. Their anxiety shot through the roof when the princess found the box in her room this morning. The fact that the two of you have been sent to guard the floor level speaks of amount of fear currently circulating through the castle."

He placed the futons close to each other before arranging the blankets and pillows. Madara decided he wasn't going to sleep on it. Looking at Tobirama's expression, he made the same decision.

"What about scent work? Have any dogs been brought in to track the scent of the perpetrator?"

"Yes, but there wasn't any conclusive evidence. The dogs just ran around in circles. Perhaps there are too many people that go in or out of the castle, or…"

"…the harasser is part of the castle staff," Tobirama finished.

"In a few moments, a servant will arrive to bring your supper. I will be in an office one level below this room if you need me. By your leave." He bowed before leaving. Madara and Tobirama were left in the room.

"A stalker capable of eluding the Guardian Twelve? Perhaps this mission isn't as simple as Anija originally thought."

"Yes," Madara was uncomfortable with agreeing with Tobirama. "I'm not convinced they are the best of shinobi, however. There will be clues they overlooked. I'll definitely find something once I run DNA and chakra tests on the ear, on the blood, and on the letter."

"If this really is an inside job, surely someone would have noticed that a person was missing an ear."

"There are many people who are unobservant."

Tobirama snorted before changing the subject. "I will ask Daimyo-sama for access to a laboratory to run the tests. You interview the household staff to see what odd things have been happening in the castle. Start from two months ago."

"What!?" Madara laughed, "Who said I was going to interview the staff? Why don't you do it since you're more of a _people person_. I'll do the lab work."

"Do you even know how to work in a lab, Madara? You'll just contaminate everything, and we'll have to report to Daimyo-sama that _you're_ the one harassing the princess. Although, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised if that were true considering how diseased your mind is."

"Don't be disgusting. She's my daughter's age. And stop changing the subject. Go and interview the staff and get as many DNA, fingerprint, and chakra signatures as you can from them."

"I already decided—"

Tobirama was cut off when they both sensed a presence walk onto their floor. A short moment later, someone knocked on their door.

"Come in," Tobirama said.

A young woman wearing a pink work kimono opened the door. As she bowed, her long brown hair brushed the tatami-covered ground.

"Uchiha-san, Senju-san, my name is Rin. I work in the kitchen, and I've brought supper." On her arm was a bamboo bucket. She removed the lid and handed Madara and Tobirama each a large bowl. It was mostly rice, but there were three pieces of batter-coated fried prawns and a few pieces of stewed vegetables. Both shinobi thanked her. As she turned to leave, Tobirama stopped her.

"Rin-san, do you know why Uchiha-san," he glanced at Madara dispassionately, "and I are here at the castle?"

"Uh, yes, sir. The rumor among the staff is that you're here to find out who's been sending creepy packages to the princess."

"The whole staff knows? Momo-san informed us that the reason we're here was a secret."

The young servant woman let out a nervous laugh. "In the houses of nobles, there is little that the servants do not know. We run everything, after all, sir."

She bowed again and left.

Tobirama let out a frustrated sigh. "This will make the work harder. Still, the plan will remain unchanged."

Madara ignored him for his food. The fried prawn let out a crunch as he bit into it. He chewed slowly. The food was acceptable, but truth be told, he had been looking forward to try his daughter's cooking that night.

* * *

><p>"Hmm! This isn't bad at all, Aina!"<p>

Aina let out a strained smile. "Were you expecting it to taste bad?"

"No!" Hashirama quickly backpedaled, "I just meant this is your first time cooking, right? It's really good for a beginner!"

Because she was using her family as guinea pigs to make a bento, she fixed them classic lunch food items for dinner. Unfortunately, since this was Aina's first attempt, most of the things she made weren't as physically appealing as Hashirama knew they could be.

She had tried to cut sausage into octopus shapes, but she sliced them too deeply, and they turned into sausage strips instead. Nearly all the bunny-shaped apple slices only had one ear, and Aina served the only two-eared apple piece to Hashirama. She over-fried the chicken, so it was drier than what it should have been. The rice balls were triangular, but they also looked ready to fall apart if someone dared to breathe on them. Only the potato salad looked good, but that was a hard recipe to mess up.

Still, ignoring the appearance, the taste wasn't horrible, and everyone could eat it without gagging. In fact, Takumi and Noboru were shoving their faces in a way only young boys could.

"Maybe I should practice some more before I make a bento for…" Aina mumbled to herself.

Hashirama was sure he wasn't meant to hear that, but he still responded, "Take as long as you need, darling. Your cooking will get better with time. There's no need to rush."

Aina nodded. "Still, I wish Madara-san was home."

"Me too."

* * *

><p>The moon had risen a few hours ago, but neither Tobirama nor Madara were planning on sleeping that night. They snuck out of their room and actually managed to agree on who should investigate what. Madara sneaked onto the roof to take a look at the surrounding roads as well as the closest houses and businesses.<p>

Tobirama, on the other hand, snuck through the building to locate the secret passages. He only found one on the level they were staying, and that was after he snuck into the Daimyo's bedroom.

He glanced at the shinobi guarding the ruler of the land, and found them less and less impressive with every moment. How had they not sensed him? Tobirama's chakra was cloaked, but elite ninja would have been able to felt a disturbance. Surely only shinobi of a certain caliber would be let onto the guard?

He sneaked out of the room through the secret passage. It was winding, and it eventually led out to the back garden through a storage shed. The albino Senju glanced around. There were no guards stationed near this entrance.

After looking at the various passageways, he returned to the room and extended his senses. There were individuals possessing powerful chakra in the Daimyo's bedroom. Standing at right angles to each other, these were the ninja that guarded the Daimyo on a day to day basis. A useless bunch, seeing as how Tobirama just snuck right past them.

In that room, barely registering in his mind, was the chakra signatures of the Daimyo and his wife. They slept in the same bed, but considerably far apart from each other. That was an interesting bit of information about the head of state. He moved onto the princess's room when he heard her scream, but there was nobody else in the room except for the soft flickering chakra of her head handmaiden, who went to wake her. Eventually, the princess calmed down and went back to bed.

Feeling even lower in the castle, there was the signatures of the servants. Their chakra was equally dim, as expected of civilians, and mostly of fire nature. There were a few servants up and about. Tobirama assumed they were night shift. Some chakra signatures felt stronger than the other, but no one in particular stood out.

By the time Tobirama was finished, the moon was setting. He decided to return to the room to get a few hours of sleep. There was a stack of books near the corner of room that was comfortable to lean against. He slept in a seated position, his hand on his katana, ready to draw it at any time.

Come daybreak, the Senju woke up. Rin-san had arrived, bringing another bowl of rice of vegetables. Since Madara wasn't in the room, Tobirama ate his share too.

He left to find to the Daimyo. To his utter horror, the Daimyo had looked at him rather strangely when he requested access to a laboratory to further investigate the DNA and chakra signatures.

"Erm, yes, when Uchiha-san told me of this plan, I agreed to let him into the laboratory of one of my friends. Did Uchiha-san not inform you of his whereabouts?"

This put Tobirama into a dilemma. If he said yes, then Daimyo-sama would start doubting his, albeit nonexistent, teamwork with Madara. If he said no, then he would give Daimyo-sama the impression that he was an utter idiot. Damn that Uchiha to hell! What did he tell Daimyo-sama while Tobirama was asleep!?

"Ah, Madara did mention something like that. I believe I was coming up with a possible list of suspects and was only half listening," he lied through his teeth.

The Daimyo looked surprised. "Ooh! A suspect list this early? Well, tell me, Senju-san, who do you think is responsible?"

There was no suspect list, of course. Tobirama still had no idea who should have been in the castle last night and who was an intruder. Still, perhaps this was his chance to clarify that very problem.

"Actually, I could use some assistance to help narrow it down, Daimyo-sama. I checked the castle last night, so I have a good idea of who was here, however, whom should I ask to find out who should have been here last night?"

"Um, Momo!" The housekeeper appeared before them. "Please speak with Senju-san about who is currently in employment."

The housekeeper bowed before speaking.

"We currently are employing nine other housekeepers as managers, ten handmaidens, specifically five for the lady of the castle and five for the princess, thirty maids to clean and launder, twenty cooks, ten dancers, ten musicians, ten gardeners, five errand boys, three physicians, one boiler man, fifty non-ninja guards, and the Guardian Twelve. This is not counting all the guests that come into the castle to forge alliances with Daimyo-sama nor the civilians who come in, bringing in their complaints, although we had no guests last night aside from you and Uchiha-san to my knowledge. Would Senju-san like to meet the servants?"

Tobirama nodded, but quickly clarified, "But not now. I'm sure I will have time tomorrow to do so. Currently, I must go and provide guidance to Uchiha-san in the laboratory."

"Yes," the Daimyo found his voice again, "Uchiha-san told me you would likely want to assist him, but he said it would most prudent for you to run checks on the household."

_Assist _him_!? _Damn that arrogant Uchiha! Fine, two could play this game.

"Uchiha-san is most likely eager to try the techniques I have taught him, but it would be best if I go and supervise."

He bowed and left the castle. He could sense Madara's chakra signature nearby, heavy and bitter at the back of his tongue, and he followed it to a mansion several blocks away. The guards at the gate let him in at once.

Madara was in a basement laboratory. For a moment, Tobirama didn't even recognized him in his white lab coat, latex gloves, and laboratory goggles. He had his hair in a high pony tail and was swirling an Erlenmeyer flask with a slightly foamy liquid. His armor was on a nearby chair while his gunbai and scythe were leaning against a wall in the corner.

Madara glanced at him. "Good, you're here. Go put on gloves."

Tobirama hadn't wait for his instruction as he already found gloves and goggles and put them on. As he walked towards Madara, he handed him the flask he was holding. "Shake that."

"What is this?"

"What do you think it is? It's the dried blood on that rag the perpetrator delivered with the ear." Sure enough, there was a small piece of cut cloth in the middle of the fluid. "I'm washing it in a saline solution with 0.1% detergent buffered with phosphate. Although now that you're here," the Uchiha smirked, pissing off Tobirama even more, "you'll be washing it. Shake that flask for five minutes, then get back to me. I have letters to look through." He pulled the gloves of his hands and tossed them into the garbage can before putting on a fresh pair.

"You—"

"Also, where's my breakfast? The housekeeper said that maid would have delivered it to the bedroom."

Completely frustrated by his dictatorial attitude, Tobirama snapped, "I ate it!"

"What?" To Tobirama's surprised, Madara laughed. "You ate my breakfast? Well, it's good to know that all that Senju preaching about love and teamwork was pure bullshit." He fished out a hairnet and looped it on, looking like an idiot. Still, Tobirama had to admit that Madara was paying more attention to detail than he originally expected. But that wasn't going to let him off the hook.

"You're one to preach about teamwork, making all the decisions by yourself. I already told you to go investigate the castle staff, but you had to force your way in here."

Madara looked up from the letters. His eyes focused on the flash he was shaking. "Well, if you insist on doing the grunt work, that's fine with me. Just don't get in my way." He started dusting the letters for finger prints.

Aside from the sound of swishing liquid, the laboratory was silent for five minutes. Since Madara was being selfish with which step he was on in the DNA extraction process, Tobirama had to wait for Madara to turn his attention back to the flask after the time was up. To the solution, Madara added in water filtered with reverse osmosis and a cell lysis buffer. He tried to make Tobirama shake it more, but Tobirama refused.

Although no fingerprints turned up on the letters, Madara found a suspicious hair stuck in the rice paper. Tobirama grabbed the hair from him, and prepped this sample. They wordlessly agreed to sequence their DNA samples by themselves. The only words exchanged between the two men were tense and only slightly helpful.

If Tobirama was working with anybody else, he would have streamlined the process so only one person was in the lab. Only one man needed to be there anyway, since there was so much wait time between steps, so he could have easily handled two samples, but Tobirama didn't trust Madara.

After sequencing and karyotyping the DNA, they dropped pieces of the paper used to identify chakra into the leftover supernatant. The paper pieces turned into ash and dissolved into the liquid while letting out a burst of the chakra of the owner. They both frowned when they realized it was the same chakra signature. The restriction digests both came out identical too, signifying the hair and the blood belonged to the same person.

They were turning their attention to the DNA of the ear when Madara and Tobirama both felt a suspiciously strong chakra flare up in the castle. They dropped what they were doing and left to follow it, but curiously enough, Madara ran off halfway through the chase. It didn't matter because shortly afterwards, the chakra flickered and then disappeared. Tobirama's eyes widened. It was the most expert cloaking job he had ever felt. Still, he continued searching around the castle for it, albeit in vain.

It was incredibly late when Tobirama returned to the castle empty handed. Madara was already in the room. The maid had been by to bring their food, and he was surprised to see Madara had left his portion untouched. Tobirama cautiously sniffed it before taking a bite. Madara was smirking at him the whole time, which caused Tobirama to only eat a quarter of the food. He was still hungry, but he didn't trust Madara enough to finish it.

"So, where did you run off to?"

"That's my question. I was following the monstrous chakra. Where the hell did _you_ go?"

Tobirama's eyes widened at Madara's answer. "I was following the chakra, you're the one who ran off in the middle."

Madara activated his Sharingan and stared at him. "You're not lying, and you're not under a genjutsu. Fine, let's say you were the one following the chakra, and I ran off. What did you find?"

"I… didn't find anything. The owner cloaked it with the most air tight job I had ever felt. I followed it, but somewhere in the forest behind the castle, it wasn't there anymore."

"How is that possible? Chakra doesn't just disappear. It gets used or is hidden, but—"

"I know what I felt! It disappeared."

Tobirama saw Madara trying to send him a disbelieving look, but it didn't come out right. From the looks of things, their adversary was surprisingly good at evasion.

* * *

><p>Hashirama sighed as he signed the last document. Today had been unbelievably tiring. To start with, he didn't sleep much the night before. He never slept well whenever Madara was out on a mission, but the previous night had been rougher than usual since he was worried how his lover and brother were getting along. Then the day started with a collection of tedious tasks. There were giant stacks of mission requests to be read, and then at least five genin teams threw fits about how boring their missions were. Hashirama went on a rant about how they should be grateful that the missions were boring.<p>

During his lunch break, a member of the Uchiha Clan had arrived and asked for Hashirama's assistance to clear up a misunderstanding. Occasionally, Hashirama would be dragged into Uchiha messes when Madara was gone on a mission, and he handled them alright, but as soon as he stepped back into his office, Toka-san arrived and informed him of another squabble forming in his own clan, so he immediately set off to fix that.

He was reminded once again why he gave the position of clan head to his younger brother. Balancing the work of leading the village and the Senju Clan would have been too time consuming.

He arrived back at his office two hours later than he originally attended, and started reading post-mission reports. After he signed those off, he started reading recommendations from jounins about genin to chuunin levels. As these recommendations were formal government documents written to the Hokage, these texts were drier than the deserts in the Land of Wind.

When he finally returned home, his sons informed him his daughter hadn't come home. When he found her, she was crying her heart out over her first heartbreak. They had a nice chat where Hashirama told her about the time he considered marrying his current sister-in-law and how hard it was to identify true love.

They went home, and things were almost the same as normal. He made sure his sons took their showers, and then he tucked all of them in for the night. He showered quickly before returning to his bedroom, changing into his own sleep wear, and crawling under the cold covers. That was another thing he missed whenever Madara was away—a warm bed.

Hashirama felt unbearably lonely. His hand reached over to touch the spot where Madara normally slept, his hand curling around sheets. He reminded himself that the mission was only projected to last a few days. It really was a short mission, and Madara would be back before he knew it.

* * *

><p>Madara and Tobirama spent the night much like the previous one, only they explored the area the other had the night before. Nobody found anything suspicious, which in itself was suspicious. Neither felt the chakra signature again either.<p>

Upon briefing the Daimyo early the next morning, they discovered the princess was sitting in the room with him. She screamed the night before as well, but she seemed a lot more collected than the first time the two Konoha shinobi saw her.

They went to finish their work from the day before. As Madara didn't trust Tobirama in the lab any more than the other way around, they both went there together. This time, Madara had taken a tissue sample from the ear in the box. Untrusting of Madara's skills, Tobirama took his own sample from the ear. They ran another DNA and chakra test.

It wasn't the same person, Madara realized as he compared his result to the one from the day before. The two owners weren't blood relatives either. He dropped in another piece of chakra paper. The owner of the ear also had fire nature chakra, but the chakra released also felt different.

Tobirama had finished his own sequencing. Madara snorted when he saw they had the exact same restriction digest pattern again. Tobirama's lack of trust was what's wasting them valuable time.

Never mind the fact Madara didn't trust any of Tobirama's work.

Tobirama had run a karyotype while Madara extended his senses as far as they could reach for this new signature. In the middle of cutting out the chromosomes, Tobirama made a slight startled noise.

"What's scaring you now?"

Tobirama ignored his taunt. "The ear belongs to a woman."

"What?"

"Are you hard of hearing, Uchiha? I said the ear belongs to a woman. You can't be that surprised. Didn't you find out they didn't belong to the same person?"

So, who was the one harassing the princess? The earless woman or the man who shed blood?

"If you had investigated the staff members, we could have finished this by now," Madara muttered.

"I believe I assigned you that task. Stop shirking your responsibilities, and go investigate."

"And I told you that investigating the staff members was your task. I thought you enjoyed administrative minutia?" Without waiting for Tobirama to respond, Madara left.

The two of them spent the night prowling around the castle again. This third go around, they each had a sense of who had been where the past two nights. They didn't pick up any new chakra signatures. Neither of them felt the chakra signatures of the man or woman or the monstrous chakra.

The next morning, Madara watched Tobirama speak with the head housekeeper about interviewing the staff. He agreed to help them set up appointments and then led them to the basement of the castle where the Daimyo had built an interrogation chamber similar to the one in Konoha.

With Madara and Tobirama sitting in the middle of the chamber, the housekeeper started leading staff down. The first person they interrogated was the housekeeper himself. He was composed. Then, they interrogated Rin-san, the woman who served them their meals. A civilian, her earth chakra nature didn't belong to the woman missing her ear. Rin-san also gave a calm outward appearance, but Madara could see her hands shaking as she answered their questions. Still, her story was consistent. She was dismissed.

The next woman who entered the room was another maid. Her whole body shook, and she kept her head down the whole time. She stuttered her responses.

"Raise your head," Tobirama commanded.

The woman obeyed. Tears were streaming down her face.

"Where were you three days ago?"

Her response was barely intelligible. Frustrated with their lack of process, Madara caught her eyes and then placed her under a genjutsu. They quickly found out that she wasn't involved. She left the room, limbs flopping and torso twisting with every step she took like a marionette.

"Uchiha Madara! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I got the information we needed."

"You absolutely did not need to use the Sharingan on her!"

"It was the most efficient way."

Tobirama's eyes narrowed practically into slits. "I'm not arguing it wasn't efficient, but you used a high power genjutsu on a civilian staff member of the Daimyo. The next girl coming down will likely see this one leave, walking like _that_. It would be bad form if we traumatized all of Daimyo-sama's staff. If His Grace were to find out about this…"

Madara breathed out of his nose. "I'm trying to find the person he called me here to find. Any decent father would be willing to go to any lengths to protect his daughter. Not that you would understand." Madara smirked. "Why is that? How long have you been married to that Uzumaki bitch?"

"Don't insult my wife, Uchiha! And what would you know about impregnation or interrogation? Are you even aware there are ways of extracting information that leave fewer traces? And if my suspicion that the perpetrator is a ninja is correct, you've just let him found out we're here!"

"We've been crawling around the castle for the good part of two days. I'm sure if the perpetrator was a ninja and here, he would have long found out about us. Instead of wasting time, we should figure out how his chakra can just vanish."

There was a knock on the door. The housekeeper led the next girl into the room. This one was shaking even harder than the previous one. Neither Tobirama nor Madara paid any attention to her discomfort and started the interrogation. This girl stammered as badly as the previous one, and it was hard to figure out if she was simply nervous around shinobi or if she was hiding something.

Madara snorted and watched Tobirama interrogate. While he did eventually get all the information needed, it took five times as long as when Madara simply placed the girl under a genjutsu. What a waste of time.

The next ten days dragged on and on. Madara and Tobirama spent sixteen hours a day interrogating, and trading insults during the time they were waiting for the next person to arrive. They spent the nights taking turns searching the area around the castle while the other guarded floor according to the princesses wish.

The perpetrator never came back, the princess stopped screaming at night, and they never found a woman with a missing ear.

* * *

><p>After tucking his kids in for the night, Hashirama let out a sigh the moment he returned to his bedroom. He fished out a bottle of sake and a shot glass from the nightstand-turned-alcohol-drawer.<p>

It had been two weeks since Madara and Tobirama left on their C-rank mission, and they still hadn't returned. Hashirama's stomach became sick with worry as each minute passed without their return. They were just trying to find a pervert. How long was it going to take? He took a shot of sake to calm his nerves.

He had sent Tobirama a letter, asking how the mission was going and when he could expect them back. His little brother wrote back, saying that the mission was going to last longer than they originally anticipated and little else. Hashirama understood the prudence of exchanging minimal information regarding missions, but this was absolutely frustrating.

Hashirama looked out the window. It was a full moon. Just looking at it made his heart ache again. Madara loved moon gazing, and there were times when their schedules weren't so busy that they would give Aina some money to babysit her little brothers, and the two of them would run to the cliff to enjoy a light picnic and to moon gaze. After sharing cups of sake, the night would frequently take an intimate turn, although it took him _a lot of effort_ to do anything in public.

He got under the freezing cold covers after changing into his sleep wear. His hand snaked underneath the waistband of his pants, and his thoughts were full of his lover as he started to toss off.

After coming, he cleaned up with a tissue and sighed. He felt slightly less stressful, but he still wanted to hold Madara desperately in his arms.

* * *

><p>Almost like someone planned it, a few minutes after Madara and Tobirama finished their flood of interrogations, they both felt a flare of chakra above them. It was the intense vanishing chakra, so they ran up the side of the castle after it. To both shinobi's frustration, the chakra vanished again. The two burst into the room of its last location, which was the princess's bedroom.<p>

The princess herself was not there. She was ink painting with her handmaidens in another room a few flights down. Tobirama and Madara glanced around the room and found another letter. They opened it. It was on the same lines as the previous letters, about how the princess was driving the letter writer mad. There was a line in referencing how the stray dogs wouldn't be able to stop their love.

"Stray dog? Is he referring to you?" Of course, Madara couldn't ask a question without being a dick.

Tobirama bit back a comment on how that was rich coming from his brother's bitch, and he focused on analyzing the letter instead of trading barbs.

The handwriting appeared to be the same as the previous letters. Ignoring Madara completely, he took the letter back downstairs to the interrogation room which turned into their temporary headquarters. Once downstairs, he scanned the letter with ultraviolet light and then dusted it with a fine black powder. Neither showed any traces of evidence. Tobirama then opened their cabinet full of newly collected writing samples from the staff and started comparing them.

Madara snorted before grabbing the new letter and pushing him aside. He activated his Sharingan, and started scanning the new letter, comparing it against all of samples in the collection. "None of the handwriting match this one." Madara then proceeded to go through all the previous letters collected before confirming Tobirama's suspicion that only one person wrote the letters, but he wasn't part of the staff.

"That's peculiar," Madara mumbled to himself.

"Are you going to share with the class what you found," Tobirama growled, "or are you going to continue standing there talking to yourself like a lunatic?"

Madara spared him a glance with his Sharingan-inhanced gaze. The Senju grit his teeth when he saw those damned eyes. "The handwriting looks more like the maids' than any of the guards'. In other words, the perpetrator writes like a woman. Specifically, one of low socioeconomic class. Her penmanship isn't as refined as any of the handmaidens."

Tobirama didn't have any choice but to believe him. "How would a working woman be able to deliver a letter into the princess's bedroom? Or hide her chakra from a sensors? For that matter, why would a woman even write the princess a letter?"

Madara broke eye contact. He swallowed thickly, as if uncomfortable. "It is possible for a woman to fall in love with another woman, I suppose. And women are more emotional, so she probably was unable to contain her feelings and started acting out."

"It could be a kunoichi."

"The housekeeper said the only shinobi the princess has ever met were the Guardian Twelve and the two of us. The Guardian Twelve consist of all men, Senju. And the Daimyo has only hired Konoha shinobi since the inception of the village, so you're suggesting it's one of our kunoichi." He paused before continuing, "This has been increasing in frequently recently, so if it is one of our kunoichi, Konoha would have documentation of her departure from the village. I'm sure you're wrong, but I'll write to Hashirama anyway."

Tobirama leaned against a wall, deep in thought. To his knowledge, the last team that had been sent on a mission for the Daimyo that had a kunoichi was six months ago to deal with a political adversary. Otherwise, things generally were pretty peaceful on that front. Still, Hashirama occasionally responded to mission requests by himself, so even Tobirama couldn't say for certain.

Hashirama would know, and even if he didn't, he could find out. There was something else, too. "This can't happen again, Uchiha. You'll have to stay on the floor and guard the rooms to prevent any more unwanted guests. I'll search the nearby areas."

Madara raised an eyebrow at him, "What makes you think I'm the one staying? My sensing range is greater than yours and I'm the stronger ninja, so it'd make more sense for you to stay while I investigate."

"Yes, but _you're_ the father with the daughter the princess's age as you claimed when we arrived. Surely your _paternal love_ makes you better suited for guarding her."

"If you want to extend our stay in this godforsaken castle, be my guest. Search your heart out, Senju, but with your current record of running off in the middle of a chase, you couldn't even follow a toddler chasing a butterfly. I'm not going to waste anymore breath on this. I have a letter to write."

They left the interrogation room. Madara returned to the bedroom to write to Hashirama, and Tobirama went upstairs to report to the Daimyo. He was summoned quickly.

"Yes, Senju-san?"

"We found this letter in the princess's room a few moments ago. While neither Uchiha Madara nor myself were able to catch the perpetrator, we have determined that he or she is definitely shinobi with advanced skill in chakra cloaking," Tobirama reported while kneeling in front of the Daimyo. He offered the leader of the Land of Fire the letter with both hands. Shaking, Daimyo-sama read the letter.

"I'm disappointed, Senju-san. I expected Hokage-dono's younger brother to be more skilled."

Tobirama grit his teeth but didn't say anything.

"Where were you when this was happening?"

"Uchiha Madara and I were both in the basement of the castle, Milord, finishing up the meeting with all the staff members. We can safely conclude that none of them are the letter writer. Our suspect list has also widened, so Uchiha-san is currently writing my brother for his assistance."

"That's good news. Hashirama-dono's assistance will do nicely. It's times like these where I regret he became Hokage. If he were still going on missions, I'm sure he could have come in person and have fixed this problem already." Daimyo-sama gently sipped at his tea, completely unaware that he reignited the sibling jealousy Tobirama carefully hid.

"If Milord would allow it, I would like to place my Flying Thunger God Technique seal in the princess's bedroom. It's a ninjutsu that allows me to instantly teleport to the seal's location. This way, if I were to sense the suspicious chakra in her bedroom again, I can be there instantaneously."

"Out of the question. I forbid it." The Daimyo and Tobirama both turned towards the speaker. It was woman in her mid-twenties according to the Senju's estimates. Dressed in colorful layers and an obi scandalously tied in the front, she strutted into the throne room with her handmaidens. Tobirama's eyes widened as he recognized her chakra signature. It was the Daimyo's wife.

"Ahem, my dear, Senju-san's request is reasonable. It would be best if a shinobi of his caliber could appear in the princess's room to aid her should the harasser appear again."

"Daimyo-sama," the young wife exclaimed as she hid the lower half of her face with an uchiwa, "the princess is almost of marrying age. It would unbecoming for a grown man to be in her room regardless of the circumstance."

"Someone has already been in her room! Have you not seen the psychotic things the perpetrator leaves on her bed? Her safety has already been compromised, and I would be grateful for Senju-san's assistance in this circumstance."

"The princess will never be able to marry if this lowly ninja were to gaze her body. In fact, this whole scheme sounds like something he cooked up to marry above his station."

"With all due respect, Milady, I'm already married," Tobirama added.

"Keep your mouth shut when your superiors are speaking, you dog!"

The Daimyo seemed completely exacerbated with his young wife's outburst. "All right. Senju-san, I'm afraid you'll have to settle with placing your seal outside the princess's bedroom."

"So he can burst in in the middle of the night! Outrageous, Daimyo-sama, completely outrageous. But I see I cannot persuade you from sullying the princess's honor and destroying her future. Good day." She left.

"My wife is right," Daimyo-sama said, although his tone said something else entirely, "Like I said, it would be best for you to place your seal outside the room. And if it's the middle of the night, perhaps you could search or fight with your eyes closed?"

Tobirama didn't have any choice but nod.

"Thank you for your update, Senju-san. You're dismissed."

Tobirama bowed before exiting the room. He found Madara leaning against the sliding door. They walked together to the bedroom.

"What a fool, prioritizing the ranting of a wife over the safety of his own daughter. Disgraceful. You would think a man like the Daimyo would learn how to put a woman in her place."

Tobirama was uncomfortable with agreeing with Madara. "Unfortunately since he outright stated I couldn't put the seal in the princess's bedroom, the hallway is the best I can do. Hopefully, the chakra signature won't disappear quickly next time."

He took Madara's silence as an agreement.

* * *

><p>Hashirama muffled a groan as a chuunin arrived to put in more requests in his inbox. He had just spent the past two days doing nothing but paperwork, and had just caught up and was getting ready to abscond for a round at a gambling den.<p>

He contemplated leaving anyway, but with Madara and Tobirama both gone, there would be no-one to make sure he wasn't missing anything important. He sighed as he broke the seal of the first letter.

It was a request from the mayor of the neighboring town for a squad of genin to help oversee a highly anticipated archery tournament in two weeks. Hashirama placed it in his "will get to tomorrow" pile.

The next request was a bit more urgent. A merchant was requesting a chuunin team in a week to help guard the ware he was importing from the Land of Lightning. This was a mission of a bit more consequence, but not enough for it to escape its fate of being placed in the "will get to tomorrow" pile as well.

The third request was from a genin squad leader, requesting for pooper scoopers. Hashirama remembered he assigned a genin team just that morning to go to the town from the first request to help clean up a park. Apparently, the civilians who lived there would frequently take their pets there to relieve themselves but would then refuse to bag the poop, leading to a sanitation problem. The genin team he assigned to that mission was not thrilled. That letter got placed in the same pile as the previous two.

Hashirama missed his little brother even more, and not just because he would normally just throw all these scrolls at him. He missed Tobirama's company and snarky comments on these sort of mundane demands.

The fourth one was significantly more tedious, asking Hashirama to go through the archives of previous reports to find out which ninja teams had been deployed to the capital in the past year, and then asking for the movement logs of all the kunoichi assigned on those missions. Why would anyone even want to know that sort of information? The tone of the requesting ninja was surprisingly rude too. He moved to place the request in his growing "will get to tomorrow" pile when he saw his lover's name signed at the bottom.

Suddenly much more interested, he carefully read the letter again. The words Madara chose were abrasive and disrespectful, and Hashirama smiled as he could easily hear his beloved making such a request in that low, rumbling voice of his.

Hashirama really missed Madara's voice. He missed everything about Madara, really. If his lover were in Konoha making this request, Hashirama would tell him they could go through the old archives together to save time, and then once there, he would slam the shorter man against the stacks before fucking him right there and then. No one but the Hokage and his advisors had permission to enter anyway, so they wouldn't even need to be quiet.

He spent a good ten minutes daydreaming about being intimate with Madara again before turning back to said ninja's request. This wasn't something he could put off to tomorrow. Madara didn't send letters randomly, so this was important, and the sooner Hashirama could get this information to him, the sooner Madara could come home. After checking that everything else in his inbox were things he could put off, he set off to the mission archives.

* * *

><p>Hashirama had been surprisingly quick about getting him the items he wanted, Madara thought as he flipped through the logs for the hundredth time. While there were only a handful of kunoichi who had come into contact with the Daimyo in the past year, the few that did performed repeated missions for him. Glancing through their movement logs, there were instances where they were away from Konoha long enough to come to the capital and perform the acts, but the timing didn't match.<p>

These women weren't completely crossed off the suspect list, but Madara moved them to the low suspicion category.

It was unfortunate Hashirama's efficiency didn't help them speed up the mission at all. The perpetrator appeared to take Madara and Tobirama seriously after the last time they almost caught him in the bedroom. As a result, he just stopped acting, forcing Madara and Tobirama to wait a whole month. Madara went and interviewed the entire staff again, this time using his Sharingan. The Guardian Ninja somehow managed to weasel their way out of it completely, citing clan secrets, and the Daimyo had been employing them since prior to the formation of Konoha, so he asked Madara to pardon them. The princess slept through the night soundly again. She had freaked out when she learned of the new letter.

The Daimyo was hesitant to let either of Madara or Tobirama return to Konoha in fear that the harasser would take advantage of their absence. Tobirama also didn't want to return without completing their assignment, but Madara was convinced that nothing new was going to happen as long as either he or Tobirama were guarding the princess.

For their own sanity, Madara and Tobirama had stopped talking to each other. Out of a routine, Tobirama guarded the princess while Madara did his own interrogations, and then they managed to come up a schedule where one of them would guard whichever floor the princess was on while the other would search for a trail. Nothing came up.

Then, after a month of nothing, something happened.

By chance, Madara and Tobirama were both in the castle, getting ready to switch shifts when they both felt a flare of the mysterious, disappearing chakra in the forest behind the castle. Tobirama teleported to the nearest seal, and Madara rushed out of the castle to follow it. The Uchiha could feel the chakra moving through the forest at a breakneck speed as well as Tobirama teleporting through the forest, following it.

Just when Tobirama and the chakra met up, however, the mysterious signature disappeared. Madara could feel the albino slow down and start running around in circles before stopping completely.

Madara caught up with him. "What happened? You're supposedly the fastest, how did you lose him?"

"I caught up with him! But I couldn't see whomever was molding the chakra even when I was only a meter away, and then it vanished!"

Madara's Sharingan whirled to life before cursing. Tobirama's chakra flow wasn't altered, so this wasn't a genjutsu. They apparently lost track the chakra _again_.

"How does he keep doing that? And why would the harasser come here?" Tobirama asked. They were quite a ways away from the castle in the middle of the forest. Madara scanned the area, unable to find a hint of that signature.

They started searching in the vicinity, Madara feeling like a dog being yanked on a chain. After a few hours of searching, however, he managed to find something bizarre hidden in the bushes. Half buried in the ground was a giant urn. It was sealed with the largest cork Madara had ever seen, and then wrapped in bandages topped with cellophane.

Tobirama stepped towards it.

"You're going to open it?"

"It's obviously a clue, Madara. A suspicious object right in the middle of the forest close to that chakra?"

"It's an obvious trap. I'm betting a bomb is in there, and you'll set off a trip wire."

"I would agree if he led us here, but he did not. He led us to a place fifty kilometers west of this."

"It's in the same damn forest. And if this weren't planted, then it's unrelated to our case. Leave it alone, Tobirama. I'd rather not bring pieces of your body back home to your brother."

"You might not be able to feel it, but this close, I can feel a chakra radiating from the urn that's suspicious." Tobirama, the suicidal idiot, started searching the area for wire or chakra sensing slips. Finding none, he pulled out a kunai. Madara activated his Mangekyou Sharingan, ready to shield himself at a moment's notice.

After Tobirama cut through the wrapping and started pulling the cork, an absolutely horrendous smell permeated through the air. Stinging both Tobirama and Madara's nostrils, they recognized the familiar odor. Formaldehyde. Madara's suspicion of a trap flew out the window.

"Dammit, it's stuck." Tobirama knocked on the ceramic neck, as if contemplating on just shattering it.

Madara sighed before he reached into his pouch and pulled out a scroll. He then unsealed a vial of oil. Pulling off a black glove, he dabbed some on his fingers before shoving them in between the cork and the urn, lubricating as much as he could touch. "Now pull," he ordered Tobirama, careful not to make eye contact.

"Why do you have…?" Tobirama started asking before thinking better of it. He turned his attention back to the cork and pulled it out easily. The pungent smell floated into the air.

Peering inside, both of them were surprised to find the preserved torso of a young woman. The head was still attached, and she was _missing her right ear_. Her severed limbs were also in the urn. The amputation was jagged, suggesting the limbs were hacked off by a blunt instrument.

Why would there be a pickled corpse in the middle of the forest behind the Daimyo's castle? Madara looked around. It would be impossible to figure out her time of death given the fact she had been submerged in preservatives. The soil around the urn was cracked, suggesting the ground had been frozen when the hole was dug. Winter started two months ago.

"I'm certain she is, or rather _was_, the owner of the ear. Her remaining cells still emanate a tiny fraction of the chakra she formed when she was still living," Tobirama quietly stated. "Fish her body out from the urn. Maybe there's some more evidence."

Madara unsealed a new pair of rubber gloves from his scroll and tossed them at Tobirama who caught them reflexively.

"You should be happy I even gave you something to keep the crap off," Madara said when he saw his expression.

"You keep rubber gloves on you as well?" His expression was one of complete alarm.

Madara smirked, either oblivious to the implication or uncaring. "Obviously. Those are new, however, so don't worry."

He must have broken Tobirama's brain because Tobirama just followed his orders and pulled the corpse out. Looking closely, there was evidence of sexual trauma. Tobirama manipulated the corpse and looked in the vaginal vault. There seemed to be no semen, but that could be due to the fact she had been soaking in the formaldehyde for god knows how long.

"Take a sample of the liquid in the urn. I'll bring this woman back to the laboratory. Hopefully, this will be the break we needed."

The two returned to the laboratory, careful to pick back roads so nobody could see the dead body being lugged around. With only the skill of Konoha's elite, the two managed to sneak the formaldehyde containing urn and the corpse past the guards and into the laboratory. They started running tests.

Madara confirmed what Tobirama had been saying—the woman stuff in the jar was the owner of the severed ear delivered to the princess. Meanwhile, Tobirama performed an autopsy. Looking at the lack of edema or neutrophils near the location of the woman's injuries, Tobirama came to the conclusion that the sexual assault occurred a few days following her death, although her lack of decomposition suggested she was placed in the urn rather soon after she was killed. This meant this was either a premeditated murder or the assailant had access to formaldehyde on a daily basis. The test from the liquid revealed the victim's DNA as well as another person's DNA, presumably her killer and sexual assailant. Tobirama did a karyotype, and found the new DNA belonged to a man, suggesting the sample was from diluted semen like he originally suspected. He also dropped a piece of chakra paper into the sample. It turned into ash and dissolved into dust like all the others, but the chakra it released was surprisingly familiar.

Madara stared at Tobirama's flask. "That's one of the Guardian Ninja. He's the one standing closest to the Daimyo when he sleeps."

"That's because he's the head of the Guardian Twelve! Daimyo-sama need to be informed immediately."

Madara stopped him. "Wait. Don't tell him yet."

Tobirama folded his arms and glared at him. "Why?"

"Because there's more than one person involved or did you forget about the man's blood on the rag or the woman who's writing the letters or how about _the mysterious chakra we've been following_? And what are we going to tell him? We suspect one of his guardians because he raped a dead woman stuffed in a jar?"

"A dead woman whose ear was sent to the princess with a note written in the same handwriting as all the previous letters! We didn't get a chance to obtain any DNA or writing samples during our interview process with the guardian ninja, so how do we know he didn't write it? I understand wanting to put the whole story together, but in a case like this, when the culprit _is_ the head of the security for the Daimyo of our land, the fact that he is going rogue is something we need to act on immediately."

"And do what? Tell the Daimyo and scare him half to death? It'll impossible to interrogate him without the Daimyo finding out and then that'll send the rest of the accomplices into hiding! They'll then start acting again after we leave! What we need is to catch them all, and I'm more than enough to guard the Daimyo and the princess while using them as bait to catch the others."

"How do you even know there are accomplices, Uchiha? The other evidence we got could be from victims! Or should I assume your Sharingan can predict the future?"

"It can distinguish handwriting, and that is _not_ the handwriting of a male shinobi, no matter how you slice it."

"Fine then. Since you're so adamant on guard work," Tobirama smirked, "then you guard Daimyo-sama and the princess. I'll keep an eye on the Guardian."

"I'll investigate him as well. Don't you have a seal right next to her room? If something were to happen, you'll be there immediately. Or are you scared I'll steal your limelight?"

"Fine, tag along if you insist. We'll take shifts following him."

* * *

><p>Hashirama woke up drenched in cold sweat. He automatically reached for Madara, and his stomach gave a lurch when all he felt was cold bedding. He sat up, trying to clear his thoughts of the most horrible and most ridiculous nightmare ever, but the two bottles of sake he drank a few hours ago didn't sit well with the sudden movement, so he rushed the bathroom. After vomiting his guts up, he rinsed his mouth. As that didn't get rid of the taste of bile, he brushed his teeth. The sharp minty flavor woke him up even more.<p>

After rinsing his mouth again and getting a drink of water, he got back into the bed and tried to go to sleep, but he couldn't stop thinking about his absolutely ridiculous nightmare.

He had been working in his office when dream-Madara and dream-Tobirama entered. To Hashirama's horror, he watched his younger brother snake his arm around his lover's waist.

"Madara and I are getting married," dream-Tobirama said before dream-Madara giggled. "We also decided this village is a complete failure, so we're leaving to go establish our own."

Dream-Madara continued, "Tobirama and I also think you're annoying with how undisciplined and idealistic you are, so you can't come. And, I'm taking the kids with me. You're a failure of a father, and Tobirama would do a much better job than you. He's also better in bed than you."

Hashirama stared as the two kissed. Dream-Tobirama then started touching in between dream-Madara's legs, and dream-Madara let out the little moan Hashirama loved so much but not like this! Not when his little brother was touching him like that! What the hell did these two think they were doing, spitting in Hashirama's face like that? Tobirama, his little brother whom he protected since his birth? Madara, whom Hashirama would be willing to stab his own guts for…

And that was when Hashirama woke up, and now that he was trying to fall asleep again, but it was all he could think about. It was absolutely ludicrous. First of all, Tobirama wasn't attracted to men. Hashirama _knew_ this. Tobirama made the most disgusted face and cut him off that one time Hashirama tried to talk to him about his sex life. And that was because the idea of having sex with Madara was _disgusting_ to Tobirama, so Tobirama would never want to have sex with Madara!

And Madara would never want to have sex with Tobirama. Tobirama killed Izuna, so this was ridiculous. Madara loved only Hashirama, even if he never said it, even if he always acted like he didn't, Madara only loved Hashirama. That was why he was willing to stay in Konoha and raise three wonderful children with him. Madara would _never_ leave Hashirama, and he especially wouldn't leave him for _Tobirama_. Never. The whole dream was ridiculous.

Despite the fact that Tobirama and Madara had been on a mission together for more than two months, a mission that was only supposed to last three days, a mission that didn't look like it was ending soon, the whole notion was impossible.

Right?

Hashirama got up from bed, and opened the drawer with Madara's clothes. Pulling out a long robe with the Uchiha emblem embroidered on the back, he brought it to his face and took a long, deep breath, savoring the scent of his lover and their family's detergent.

Sighing, he returned back to bed, dragging the robe with him. He fell asleep, his nose buried deep in the dark purple cloth, and his heart calling for his lover to return home.

* * *

><p>Madara and Tobirama had been following the rogue ninja guardian for three weeks. Perhaps he aware that he had caught the attention of both Konoha shinobi, but he didn't do anything outside of his obligations and stayed in the castle guarding like he was supposed to.<p>

Eventually, Daimyo-sama summoned both shinobi for a status update. He was happy to hear they narrowed down their suspect list, but was surprised to find neither shinobi was willing to tell him whom their lead suspect was nor why they hadn't brought him in.

"I'm disappointed, truly and utterly disappointed. With the best ninja on the case, I expected faster results! Almost a season has passed from the time you two arrived, and all you have done was drive away the harasser! I'm giving you two another week. If you don't catch him in a week, you can return home and explain to Hashirama-dono how his very best are absolute failures!"

To Madara's displeasure, Tobirama decided to tell Daimyo-sama the whole story, although he at least had the decently to request the meeting be private. Daimyo-sama waved his daughter and housekeeper out of the room, and Tobirama walked up the dais to whisper in his ear. Madara's Sharingan allowed him to read his lips perfectly.

"We've found the person delivering the letters into the princess's room. It is a staff member of the castle, but for your ease of mind, we won't disclose his identify until we find his accomplices in this mess. Please do not worry, because Uchiha-san and I will definitely keep you and your family safe during this time."

Since Tobirama was disclosing everything, he might as well throw in his two cents.

"Daimyo-sama, I am personally of the opinion these individuals are currently trying to lay low and waiting for us to leave before acting again. As it currently stands, Senju-san and myself are likely scaring them from acting, and unless they act, we can't catch whomever is working with them."

The Daimyo was surprised. "But Uchiha-san, I was under the impression that if you could interrogate individuals with the Sharingan. Surely you can just extract this information."

"Yes, it is true I can cast a genjutsu, forcing him to reveal his accomplices, but…" Madara trailed off, unsure how to continue without giving away who their lead suspect was.

Tobirama didn't have the same reservations, so he finished Madara's sentence. "Milord, please do not be alarmed because Uchiha-san and I are here to protect you." He waited a beat before speaking. "Our main suspect is actually the head of the Shinobi Guardian Twelve."

The teacup the Daimyo was holding slid from his hand and smashed on ground. "Senju-san, that's a grave accusation."

"I understand, Daimyo-sama, but we have found DNA with chakra matching his in the corpse of the woman whose ear was delivered to the princess at the start of this mission. We have evidence suggesting she was killed around the time her ear was delivered here, but we have been hesitant to engage him. A shinobi of his caliber would likely kill himself than be interrogated, and then his accomplices would run free. There are also DNA, chakra, and handwriting samples unaccounted for, and we were hoping he would be cocky and lead us to them."

The Daimyo was starting to panic. "How can this be? He's been my guard since the beginning of my reign."

"Unfortunately, Milord, I don't have any understanding of his motives. But the fact remains his DNA is tied to the severed ear that was delivered to the princess."

"If this is true, you cannot leave. You and Uchiha-san absolutely cannot leave."

"Daimyo-sama, Senju-san and I must leave to provoke them into acting. We're currently at an impasse, and this is the only way to break it."

"We can't stay here forever, Daimyo-sama," Tobirama added, "Hokage-sama can act as the temporary head of the Senju and Uchiha Clans in our absence, but he only has so much attention. We must return to Konoha eventually, and it would be prudent for us to clean this mess up completely before leaving. My plan is for Uchiha-san and myself to feign returning to Konoha. We will hide our chakra upon our immediate return. They would likely act immediately, having been frustrated by our prolonged presence, and we'll be able to catch them. In order for this to work, however, you must tell everyone of our departure starting from the princess to the household staff. You cannot trust anyone with this secret."

The Daimyo nodded, shaken. Madara repressed a snort. He didn't agree with this plan of feigning leaving and then returning immediately, but just like his brother, Tobirama assumed he would. Still, Madara wanted to go home, so he followed along.

Daimyo-sama summoned his head housekeeper. "Momo," he sighed, "I'm kicking Senju-san and Uchiha-san back home. I'm sick of seeing their faces. Please bring me paper and ink. I need to write a letter to Hashirama-dono about the quality of his shinobi and request fresh men."

Momo bowed before leaving to fulfill the request. Gossip as juicy as the failure of the heads of the Senju and Uchiha Clans was likely to spread through the castle like wildfire.

To keep up with the charade, both Madara and Tobirama returned to pack. Specifically, the two of them returned to the interrogation room and sealed away the data they carefully collected of the castle staff. They returned to the throne room where Daimyo-sama gave a great show of kicking the two out of the castle. Madara was certain that most of his frustration was not an act.

On the road home, Tobirama created two shadow clones, one of himself and another of Madara, and the two clones returned to Konoha. The real Tobirama and Madara cloaked their chakra and made a U-turn and returned to the castle. Tobirama camped in the forest, while Madara went to hide in the storage shed.

Hours passed. Tobirama frowned as memories of his first dismissed clone flowed back to him. The two made it back to the Hokage office, and Hashirama had been absolutely ridiculously happy that they had returned, before realizing they were just clones. Madara's clone was dismissed, and the look on his brother's face when Madara disappeared was obnoxiously heartbreaking. The clone pretending to be Tobirama debriefed Hashirama of the circumstances before also dissipating. Hashirama's expression before that clone disappeared was one of determination. Tobirama smiled. His older brother was such an optimistic idiot.

Not before long, the sun set. And just like Tobirama predicted, the chakra he and Madara had been focusing on for the past three weeks started acting out. He walked away from his post of guarding the Daimyo's bed, and left the room. He walked down the hallway, paused at the princess's bedroom, before entering the room he and Madara shared for the past two months. To his complete shock, a short while afterwards, the Daimyo's wife also got out of bed, and entered the same room. The implication sunk in like a boat in icy waters. He could feel both chakra signatures rhythmically spiking. Despite hiding more than two hundred meters away, he could also feel Madara's disgust.

Well, this was useful information.

When dawn broke again, he could feel Madara sneaking through the castle. What was that idiot doing? He knew what the Uchiha was planning, but what if the wife wasn't an accomplice? This was especially stupid considering Madara was the one adamant on catching everybody, and this would just tip off the Guardian leader that they hadn't left! Unable to stop him, however, Tobirama grit his teeth as he felt the Uchiha made his way to where the Daimyo's wife was reading poetry with her handmaidens, and then proceeded to knock out all of the servants. The young wife just realized someone else was there when Madara caught her in a genjutsu. He stayed there for a long time with her before he knocked her out as well. Then, quickly finding the head of the Guardian Twelve, he quickly subdued him as well.

Tobirama teleported next to him using the seals still scattered all over the castle.

Madara smirked at him. "We should have left sooner. It turned out she's the mastermind behind everything."

* * *

><p>The Daimyo's wife had been the one who was writing all the letters to the princess. Madara held up a handwriting sample he got from her after he placed her under a genjutsu. The handwritten was identical even for someone without the Sharingan, and this utterly shocked the Daimyo. He continued his report. Under the same genjutsu, she confessed to seducing the head of the Guardian Twelve, promising power once she got rid of the Daimyo and his daughter. They had been having their affair for the better part of the year, but she was afraid the princess would grab political power away from her if she just got rid of the Daimyo, so she cooked up this plan to drive the princess insane first. The head of the Guardian Twelve agreed to help her once the letters started getting filtered out, and when the guardian's wife found out, he killed her. Using this as an opportunity to further scare the princess, he lobbed off her ear. He hired a local mercenary to bury the body, and then he killed him to silence him. They also delivered a rag soaked with his blood to throw off the scent.<p>

Madara's story didn't account for the fact the guardian ninja didn't bury his wife so much as he pickled her, but Tobirama didn't want to psychoanalyze his motives.

With Daimyo-sama's permission, the rest of the Guardian Twelve were placed under a genjutsu. They were, according to Madara, loyal to the Daimyo and unaware of his wife's plan. Untrusting of that Madara wasn't half-assing it, Tobirama also interrogated the ninja himself as well. That took all day, and it ended with him grudgingly admitting that Madara was right about their loyalty, but he couldn't completely vouch for their competence. He still remembered sneaking past them all on the first night.

"Perhaps," Daimyo-sama said, "it would be best from now on that I only select shinobi from Konoha for my ninja guards. That way, Hashirama-dono can also vouch for their competence and loyalty."

Tobirama agreed that would be best.

It was sunset when they finally left the capital for good, sixty-four days since the start of their C-rank mission. For stopping a coup d'etat, the two shinobi were compensated for an S-rank mission, but neither cared as they raced through the swamp to return home. They arrived in the village forty-five minutes after leaving the capital.

Tobirama decided he would debrief tomorrow. He headed back to his wife.

Madara headed towards the Hokage Tower. He was completely out of breath as he opened the door to Hashirama's office.

Hashirama was sitting in his desk, sorting through mission requests, when he raised his head up and made eye contact.

"You're not a clone, are you?"

"No," the dark haired man replied, his arms wide and his breathing slowed, "Uchiha Madara-sama in the flesh—"

He was cut off when Hashirama tugged on his arm and dragged him out of the room.

"Hashirama, what do you think you're doing?"

"What do you think? We're going home, right now."

"You can't just—"

"You don't understand, do you, Madara? I'm taking you home," he leaned forward to whisper in Madara's ear, "and if you think for a second that once we make it to our bedroom that I'm not going to tear your clothes off and bend you over the nearest flat surface, you've been away for too long."


	5. You Make Me Want to Be a Man

Something Long Forgotten

By: Komo Pineconeseed

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto Masashi. Alternate universe belongs to Makkoska. Chapter titles belong to Utada Hikaru. CoCo curry belongs to Ichibanya Co., Ltd.

Warnings: Part of Makkoska's Small Things' extended universe. Stories not in chronological order. Sporadic chapter lengths, genres, and updating schedule. **Mentions of menstruation.**

Dedicated to: Makkoska

A/N: "You Make Me Want to Be a Man" starts immediately after "Kremlin Dusk".

A/N 2: Unfortunately, Winter Break is ending. I'm also out of ideas, so this is the end of this burst of frequent updates. Sorry, guise. This isn't to say the collection is complete; I just really don't know when I'll update next. D:

A/N 3: Dear mysterious Guest, I'm glad you noticed Madara's canon lab qualifications as well. I figured his ability to successfully grow Hashiboob and Tobirama's Sharingan research made them both qualified. As for Hashi giving Mads a proper welcome, well, we'll see in this chapter. :D

* * *

><p>You Make Me Want to Be a Man<p>

* * *

><p>Hashirama made true on his promise. He dragged Madara to their house and slammed the door behind them just as a freak spring storm started. Tugging him into their bedroom, Hashirama proceeded to attacking him like an animal. Madara smirked. They hadn't had sex that rough in a while. After reaching their first peaks, Hashirama had one of his random mood swings, only instead of depression, he turned from being aggressively dominant to obnoxiously gentle. His kisses were light and tender as he used his healing techniques on Madara's wounded ass. That exchange started their second round. They climaxed again right as a clap of thunder interrupted the sound of falling rain.<p>

The boys arrived home one by one. Noboru's stealth classes ended at 19:00, and he made it home in ten minutes. When he opened the front door, he took off his sandals and threw them into the shoe rack. He then proceeded to dump his soaked messenger bag in the hallway and ran to bathroom to take a quick shower.

By the time he got out and went upstairs to his bedroom, his older brother got back. Takumi had been training with his team, so after he threw his sandals into the rack, he still trailed water and mud with every step. Noticing his little brother's pack and wanting to get rid of his burden just as quickly, he threw his kunai pouch and katana next to it, and went to take a shower as well. He got out and went back to his room as well. Snickering to himself, he started to plan his next prank. He had been laying low, but this next one was going to blow away the one where he got sensei naked!

It was nearing supper time when Hashirama got out of bed. Madara, who hadn't been sleeping more than four hours a night for the past two months, was still completely out. Hashirama smiled at the sight of his lover in their bed before going downstairs and taking a shower. He went back to tell Madara he was heading out to pick up some takeout. Madara took that as a cue to get up and shower. It would be really awkward to greet his children when his ass was still sticky with oil and Hashirama's spunk.

After he finished cleaning up, it dawned on Madara just how late it late. He sensed the chakra signatures in the house. To his surprise, Aina hadn't returned. He walked to the doorway with all the intention to go get her. The sight of equipment piled in front of the door, however, sent him back upstairs.

"Noboru, Takumi! Come out and clean up your messes!"

The boys were totally startled. Noboru slid open the door to his room and made a flying leap at Madara. Startled, the older Uchiha grabbed a hold of Noboru as he buried his face in his father's neck.

"Madara-san, you came back!"

Madara stared at this emotional display and awkwardly patted the child's back. "Noboru, boys don't cry."

"I'm not crying," he replied. Madara could feel his neck becoming damper, however, but before he could say anything, Takumi also walked into the hallway.

"Madara-san! We were beginning to think the Daimyo ate you and Uncle. What happened? Did you beat up any bad guys?"

"I'll tell everyone at dinner. And that wasn't what I called you two for! Why is there a mess outside the door?"

"What mess?"

"Don't play innocent. There's a collection of wet shinobi equipment lying haphazardly on the floor. Do you want it to rust and break on you in the middle of a fight? You need to take better care of your tools! And why did you leave your things there?"

"Oh that! Well, sorry about that. I'll go and get my stuff immediately. You too, Noboru," Takumi jerked his head at his little brother, who reluctantly let go of Madara. "I guess we just got in a bad habit. Dad never said anything."

Madara was irritated as his sons ran off to clean up their mess. His partner was frustratingly lax about enforcing house rules. How he even functioned as Hokage was a mystery.

Hashirama got back, holding containers of CoCo curry and rice. He shook his umbrella before setting it out to dry.

"Senju Hashirama! Did you even try to be a father while I was gone?"

His lover put the food on the dining room table before responding. "What do you mean?"

Madara fetched plates and silverware. "When I got up, I noticed that Takumi and Noboru dumped their stuff right at the door after getting home. Their ninja equipment was wet, and they didn't dry it or store it away properly! What if they got in a critical fight and their equipment broke on them!?"

"We would be there to protect them."

"That's not my point, and you know it, Hashirama."

"I understand your point," Hashirama sent him a puppy dog look, "I'll be stricter in the future, so please don't be angry anymore."

"Hn. Fine then. Where's Aina? I remember telling her to come home by the time you get back."

"Um, she's still not home?" Hashirama's voice had a suspicious tilt in it. Madara narrowed his eyes.

"Madara-san, Aina's been coming home late these past months."

Madara looked from Takumi who tattled on his sister, to Noboru who nodded in agreement, and finally to Hashirama. Before he even said anything, Hashirama beat him to the punch.

"I said she could. I know you said she has to come home by the time I do, but Aina's a big girl and the village is safe, so—"

"So it's alright for her to just flounce around and ignore the curfew I've set, is that what you're saying!? How dare you. You can't undermine my authority, Senju Hashirama!"

"You're right. I'll remind her that we've been both too careless. This won't happen again, Madara."

Aina arrived home five minutes later, and she was ecstatic to see her other father back. Despite Madara's grouchy interrogation of where she was and if she forgot the curfew, she still hugged him excitedly. Madara gave her an awkward pat on the back too before pretending he never touched her.

While the family dug into their CoCo curry, Madara entertained everyone with as many details of his mission as was professional for him to disclose. He talked about what the castle looked like, the fact that he had to share a room with Tobirama—his whole family collectively cringed upon hearing that—, some of the crazy shit Tobirama would trash talk, and what sort of shops were around the castle.

Then, he asked about what he missed. The boys praised their older sister's cooking. Madara gave a small smile before saying he wished he was there to taste it. Aina blushed and said it wasn't that good. She got into an argument with Takumi about the quality of her food.

For a few hours, the family sat at the table and chatted. Everyone was excited Madara had returned, and nobody wanted to leave. When Hashirama and Madara noticed Noboru falling asleep in his seat, however, they shooed their kids to bed. Since Noboru and Takumi took showers upon arriving home, only Aina cleaned up in the bathroom. The three of them went to sleep, and Hashirama followed them upstairs to tuck them in.

Madara cleaned up the table and did the dishes. Finished, he went back upstairs to see Hashirama lying naked in bed. He gave Madara a sensual smile, but Madara just huffed and turned away. He was still angry that his rules were tossed aside the second he stepped out of the village. Hashirama wasn't having any of that, and he seduced him with an intensity suggesting he was trying to make up for Madara's absence in that one night. Madara tried to fight off his lover's persistent attempts, but in the end, the months of loneliness got to him too, and he let Hashirama do whatever he wanted.

* * *

><p>Like clockwork, Madara woke up at 05:00.<p>

His first thought? He was horny.

He stretched, still incredibly sore from last night, so Madara didn't understand how he was still horny. But he was, and he rolled onto his side to face Hashirama, ready to wake him. But he stopped.

Hashirama was sound asleep. He was lying mostly on his back, and the blanket was starting to slide off him due to Madara's shifting. His deliciously tanned skin was so firm under Madara's fingers last night. He looked so powerful, but also so vulnerable. Although, now that Madara was paying more attention, he noticed the circles underneath Hashirama's eyes. Nowhere as heavy as Madara's, but Hashirama looked like he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in a while. Last night didn't help him in that regard either.

Madara let out a silent sigh. He couldn't wake his lover who looked so peaceful. He also didn't want to jerk off because the movement would wake him. Really, it was a miracle he wasn't already awake. His ninja reflexes should be screaming that another powerful ninja was staring at him, but Hashirama, the lazy bum, continued to sleep on.

Madara didn't feel like he could fall asleep again anytime soon, so that just lead to one option. He carefully got out of bed and rearranged the blankets around his lover. Deciding to take a cold shower before morning training, he went to the drawer and pulled out a change of clothing before taking it to the bathroom downstairs.

* * *

><p>The feeling of Madara getting out of the bed woke up Hashirama. He heard the sounds of a drawer being pulled open and of rustling clothing. Turning his head, he saw his very aroused lover leave the room, presumably to take a shower.<p>

It was ridiculously early, but Hashirama couldn't ignore the sight of that gorgeous ass walking away. Despite feeling tired, he tossed aside the blanket and followed him.

There was only one bathroom in the house, and it was downstairs. Hashirama strode through the hallway, careful not to walk on any squeaky floorboards. He entered the bathroom right when Madara was about turn the water on full blast. He could see the temperature would be freezing.

"Why didn't you wake me up? I can help you take care of it," he offered.

Madara sighed as he pushed the clear shower curtain to the side. He stepped out and leaned against the wall. "You looked so tired. I wanted to just let you sleep."

Hashirama walked right up to him and trapped him against the wall with his body.

"What do you think you're doing, Hashirama?"

Hashirama's gaze darkened. "Changing the water temperature because you taking a cold shower would be such a waste, especially after being gone for so long." He leaned forward and pressed his lips against his lover, who returned his kiss wholeheartedly. Hashirama reached past the shower curtain, and without looking, found the tap handle. He gave it sharp jerk to hot water, and let the shower run.

He drew his hand back and continued kissing his lover, who started turning aggressive. Hashirama broke their contact to press his lips against the crook of Madara's neck before licking it. Madara let out a stifled moan.

The water had heated up, and he tugged his lover under the blast, laughing lightheartedly. They embraced again. The water sprayed against their sides, splattering and creating an almost halo like effect. Madara's hair, which seemed to be able to defy gravity in any circumstance, always lost that ability when wet. With the spikes much less noticeable, Uchiha Madara looked almost demure.

"Really, Hashirama, in the shower?" His laugh was deep. He stopped when Hashirama got onto his knees. "What, no! Get up. The tiles—" His words were cut off due to those pleasurable sensations, and he covered his mouth with his hand. He knew his lover had a perverse interest in his reactions when blowing him, and Madara was determined not to give him the satisfaction this time.

Hashirama smiled, which was a little hard given what he was doing. Madara was trying to hold back, but he wasn't going to have it as usual.

* * *

><p>Singing from the cutest boy band ever started blasting from Aina's clock radio. Instead of jumping out bed to turn off the alarm on the other side of the room, she curled under her covers. She was feeling really lethargic. A headache was starting to form.<p>

Why was there an alarm again? That was right. She had set it to go off at this ungodly hour because her team was leaving for a mission to the middle of nowhere.

Literally, it was _in the middle of nowhere_. Some weirdass artist wanted to create pottery using some weirdass exotic clay found only in a placed called the Mountains' Graveyard. Located on the peninsula north of the Land of Fire, rumor had it that the dense forest was interspersed with the jutting bones of many gigantic animals. Despite the rather intimidating name and locale, that was all it had going for it. That area had no nation, no government, no civilians, and no active shinobi faction. Hell, Konoha intelligence said it even had no bandits, and bandits lived _everywhere_. It would take at least three days to get there, and then they would have the _joy_ of climbing over the mountains to search for a specific type of dirt so someone could stick it in a glorified oven all in the name of _art_.

That wasn't the only gripe Aina had either! Not only was it in the middle of the boonies, there wouldn't even be any action on the way there! When Dad introduced the client to their team yesterday, the artist outright admitted that she didn't even need a ninja guard; they were just going because she would be lonely by herself out in the flippin' sticks.

Aina had talked to some of her classmates from her graduating year. Aside from her team, all of them had tasted combat, most of them against ninja from other villages! The closest thing _her team_ had to engaging dangerous shinobi was the one time Madara-san decided to train with them, and he accidently Susano'o punched Jorou into a tree. Madara-san claimed he just got into the battle a little too much, but Aina had a sinking suspicion he did it on purpose although she still hadn't figured out why.

Thank goodness their sensei was also the only jounin sensei trained in medical ninjutsu.

Aina sighed. She really wasn't looking forward to the mission, especially since they were leaving at the regulated time which was so damn early. They were going to a backwater forest. Why do they need to leave at daybreak? But oh, that's right, Uncle Tobirama's regulations.

She really needed to get out of bed. The alarm was making her headache worse.

She moved her legs, and her eyes widened when she felt an unexpected wetness in between her thighs. Oh god. There was also just the slightest cramping sensation in her uterus, and she knew that was just going to get worse as the day progressed.

Her motherhumpin' period had started on the first day of the mission! Aina groaned as she gathered her mission clothes and a tampon, then wrapped herself in a thick burgundy bathrobe and trekked downstairs to the bathroom.

To her consternation, someone was already in it and using all the hot water! The young kunoichi could see steam seeping out from the cracks. It was probably Dad, who also took showers in the morning whenever Madara-san was home. It was unlikely Madara-san himself, since he would have been out by now, and her brothers never bathed in the morning.

She started knocking on the door. "Dad! Ugh, can you finish up soon? I have a mission starting in less than half an hour, which you should remember since you were the one who assigned it!"

Dad was silent, which was strange since he usually said something before getting out quickly. Aina stood awkwardly in front of the door for a good two minutes before knocking again.

"Dad! Hurry up, please! My period just started, and I desperately need to take a shower before I go!"

There. She dropped the period-bomb. Her all-male family members always freaked out whenever she played this trump card. Dad would be coming out any second now.

Instead of hearing the sound of the water being turned off however, it just continued running. Right when she was about to knock again, she heard what sounded like Madara-san suppressing a long moan and not really succeeding. Shortly afterwards, the water was turned off, and she heard two definitive sets of footsteps walking around in the bathroom.

It took Aina a while to process what it meant, but when everything clicked, she started feeling a little nauseated. Oh dear god. It was way too early in the morning to be dealing with parental sex!

There was some muffled conversations occurring within the bathroom. Aina tried to block out what they were saying, but she could still tell Madara-san was irritated by something. Probably with the fact that she was outside, busy menstruating and overhearing them! Soon after that, the door was flung open, and Dad and Madara-san stepped out. Madara-san was thankfully fully clothed and not making eye contact, but all Dad had was a wet towel wrapped around his hips. Despite her best attempts not to look, she still saw the obvious tent Dad pitched in the cotton in her peripheral vision.

Dad dragged Madara-san back up the stairs, his hair trailing water on the ground. Halfway up, however, he finally spoke.

"Sorry about that, Aina. I can write a note to your jounin sensei, explaining why you're late."

"What!? What are you going to write?" Aina asked, panicking. There's no way her dad was going to talk about his sex life with her sensei, right? She'd have to kill herself from the shame if he was!

Instead of answering, Dad dragged Madara-san back inside their bedroom. Madara-san seemed absolutely livid, but in her current mood, Aina thought that Dad deserved it.

She went into the bathroom, slammed the door behind her, and proceeded to use up the rest of the hot water.

* * *

><p>"Senju Hashirama! What was <em>that<em>!?"

Madara was completely furious. He even activated his Sharingan unconsciously.

"Please don't be angry, Madara. I just wanted to pleasure you."

"There is a time and place! And, in the bathroom when our teenage daughter was waiting outside was definitely not the right time nor place!"

Hashirama frowned. "You didn't stop me."

"That was because I didn't know you assigned Aina to a mission today! I just got back, or did you forget?"

"How could I forget? I was so lonely—"

"You shouldn't have offered to begin with! I can't believe Aina saw us like that. Don't touch me!" Madara slapped away Hashirama's hand away. The Uchiha stalked to the closet, grabbing his gunbai and scythe and a roll of shuriken. Before leaving the room, he turned around and glared at Hashirama. "In fact, unless you figure out a way to stop this from ever happening, don't you dare think about touching me again!" He strode out of the house.

Hashirama went to the bed and sat down. He pulled his hair to the front, and squeezed the excess water onto some dirty clothes in the laundry hamper. He should have taken another towel. Too late now.

He sighed again. He couldn't stand it when his family was unhappy. And he was still aroused too, so he undid the towel around his waist and proceeded to rub one out.

After he was finished, the Senju cleaned up with a tissue and got dressed. He walked to the kitchen, washed his hands, boiled a kettle of water, and heated up some rice balls from the fridge. As soon as Aina got out of the bathroom, she was surprised to see breakfast waiting for her. While chewing on her food, Hashirama poured her a cup of green tea as well.

He went to the downstairs study and wrote Aina's sensei a letter. He handed his daughter the piece of paper, stamped with the official Hokage seal.

"I apologize for delaying your mission, darling."

Aina swallowed her bite. "Apology accepted. I'm going to do my best to erase that from my memory. Could you please not do it in the bathroom when I have a mission next time?"

"Don't worry about that. I have a plan that will make the whole problem mute."

She left. After his sons got up, ate their breakfast, and left, Hashirama also went to work. Tobirama was already there, sorting through his paper stacks. Normally, the older Senju would be completely exacerbated by Tobirama's micromanagement, but after a two month absence, this was a welcome sight.

After helping Hashirama go through all the mission requests, Tobirama broke the silence.

"Mito's pregnant."

Hashirama's eyes widened. "Oh wow! Congratulations, Brother! Well done. How far along is she?"

"Three months. I found out before I left on my last mission, but I never had a chance to tell you."

Hashirama smiled. "Well, you're back now. That's what matters. You know," he paused here, "if Father were still alive, he'd be immensely proud of you."

"For impregnating my wife? Father would only consider that a feat if he compared it to your life choices." Tobirama rolled his eyes before continuing, "I hope it's a boy. That way our bloodline will continue."

"I'm sure he will be."

"Just don't spoil him when he's born, Anija."

"I won't."

* * *

><p>"You're late!" Her teammates screamed in unison when Aina finally arrived at the meeting spot. To add to her humiliation, not only were her teammates waiting for her, their client was too. Usually, ninja teams met early to hash out last minute details, and the clients would join them at a more human time, but not only was this artist crazy, her sleep pattern was also eccentric.<p>

"I'm glad you finally showed up. We were talking about how appropriate it would be to go to Hokage-sama's house." Sensei smiled.

"I'm really sorry for keeping everybody!" Aina bowed deeply. "Sensei, my dad wrote you a letter, explaining everything."

Sensei took Aina's letter and scanned the contents. Aina reassured herself that as silly as Dad acted sometimes, he wasn't stupid. There was no way he would write anything inappropriate.

"Well, I'm not sure exactly how Hokage-sama finishing important business would delay you, but it must have been really significant if he wrote a letter." Sensei turned to the rest of her team. "Come on, all of you. We're departing!"

They left, set on a direct course to the Mountains' Graveyard.

The mission was only slightly less boring than what Aina anticipated. Jorou had brought a _shamisen_ of all things with him. As if they were a traveling troupe! On any other mission, it would have been a stupid move, but it was actually pretty smart since, on the chilly nights, their team and client would cuddle around the fire, and Jorou played some simple songs for their entertainment.

It took five days to travel to the mountain range. There, they stayed for two days in a cabin the client had, looking for the clay. There wasn't a bathroom in the cabin, so they had to haul clean snow from the mountain tops for the plumbing. After they got what they were looking for, the team escorted their client back to her home in the Tanzaku Quarters, which took five days. They sprinted back to Konoha.

Her sensei reported back to Dad, who nodded as she debriefed.

Annoyed by the sheer dullness of the debriefing, Aina asked, "Dad, can you give us a more exciting mission next time?"

"Aina, please refer to Hokage-sama by his title." Uncle Tobirama frowned.

"Tobirama, there's no need with that much formality. And Aina, I'm sorry if they're not to your taste, but I've told you plenty of times that these are the types of missions that genin go on." Turning to the rest of her team, he continued, "That's all for today. You're dismissed unless your sensei has other plans."

"No plans," Sensei announced, "Everyone, go home and rest. You all deserve it."

Her team turned to leave.

Dad spoke up before she left the mission room. "Oh, and Aina? I hired some remodelers to add an ensuite bathroom to the bedroom Madara and I share. So, when you see people coming in and out of our house, don't be alarmed. And if Madara happens to stop there first, tell him that."

"Eh? Where's Madara-san?"

Dad deflated a little. "He's at the capital, helping the Daimyo. He left a few days after you, and he's due to come back today."

"Was he projected to return or is he actually coming home today? Because the last time you sent him to the Daimyo, he came back two months after what was projected."

"Madara is _actually_ coming home today. He wrote to me."

Aina nodded and went home. There was a team of remodelers at their house just as Dad said, but they were all packing up. Apparently, the bathroom was finished. The girl said goodbye to them and went upstairs. Dad had put a simple seal on every one's bedrooms. Aina doubted anyone would dare to steal from them, but better safe than sorry. She released the seal on her room, and dumped her mission equipment on her bed.

Immensely curious, she opened the door to her parents' bedroom. To the right, there was a door that wasn't there before. She opened it, and her jaw dropped.

Simply put, it was the most gorgeous bathroom in the history of bathrooms. There were beautiful dark wood floors, two stylistic white stone sinks, a toilet in the corner, a giant mirror, and an elegant bamboo arrangement in the corner. The wall opposite to the mirror was a floor to ceiling window with heavy, long, colorful drapes. The shower was covered in black ceramic tiles and had multiple showerheads, but all that was avoiding the obvious star of the show. Smack dab in the middle of the bathroom, on a slightly elevated platform, was the biggest tub Aina had ever seen. She wasn't even aware they made them that size. Two people could easy fit in there and still have plenty of room to splash around. She walked up to the tub and looked down. It had a changing slope on the inside surface, making it easy for the bathers to lie down or sit. There were even jets! There were also candle stands artfully arranged at the corners of the tub. The candles themselves were a bright seductive red.

To be honest, Aina was immensely jealous that her parents were going to horde this bathroom all to themselves. The thought crossed her mind that she should try it out before them, but the parents would probably not be happy with that. Instead, she went back to her room and took a nap. Sleeping in an actual bed after roughing it in the boonies was the best feeling ever.

* * *

><p>Hashirama was immensely happy that night. Aina and Madara had both returned home that day without a scratch on either.<p>

Madara had been in quite a mood when he left too. He made true on his promise to not let Hashirama touch him. The days leading up to his departure had been miserable, the days of his actual departure even more so, but he was back now! Hopefully, he was as horny as Hashirama.

To prepare for that, Hashirama drew a hot bath and tossed in his most luxurious bath salts. He lit the candles, turned off the lights, and set a stand of various scented oils next to the tub. Just when he was considering if he should throw flower petals in the water, Madara opened the door.

"Hashirama, what is this?" Madara walked into the bathroom and did a slow 360 degree turn before making eye contact with his lover and quirking a brow.

"It's our new bathroom."

Madara walked up to the tub. "Why are there candles?"

"It's to set the mood, of course. You've been gone for so long again, and I missed you."

"I'm not a woman, Senju. I don't need you to romance me with something so stupid." Still, he let Hashirama pull him into an embrace. He put up a show of resisting, determined to make Hashirama work for it. For his part, his Senju whispered apologies and promises in his ear as he caressed his lover.

When they finally kissed, Madara consented.

* * *

><p>Takumi couldn't sleep that night. He heard Madara-san walk up the stairs just a little while ago, and that woke him just enough to feel his his worsening stomachache. He suspected the ache itself was due to super spicy ramen he ate for lunch.<p>

A ramen stand had just opened, and his sensei had taken his team to try out the food. Takumi somehow let his teammates goad him into buying the ramen with the five chili peppers symbol next to its name, and then his pride forced him to eat the whole thing.

And damn, was he feeling the post spicy food regret tonight.

He tried to go back to sleep, but eventually, he couldn't hold it. He raced downstairs to the bathroom just in time.

Unbeknownst to him, he owed his relief to the hard working remodelers of Konohagakure no Sato, who were willing to work around the clock for their Hokage.


End file.
